The other day during some playful wrestling with the kids Scott said "Who's your daddy?" You know, the famous phrase meaning "HA! You lose!" Well Micah jumped up, grinned so big I think her face could hurt, pointed at Scott and said "You are my daddy!"
Romans 8 tells us this: "Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ..." I was immediately taken to the thought of adoption.
My kids are adopted. My sister and nieces are adopted by my parents (God bless their souls...raising a 7, 4, and 3 year old at their age). I hope my dad-Bob- doesn't mind me disclosing such personal information, but I know one of his concerns with adopting kids is that it would take away from our inheritance. Like they have much, but whatever. He didn't want our cut to go to a kid that wasn't of either his or my mom's bloodline. Of course I assured him that I didn't care. When they go to be with the Lord, the last thing I will care about is how much money I will get or what furniture is mine. What I will be doing is grieving all the while knowing that they are praising our heavenly father who saved them from his wrath.
Sin unleashed in hell. That is what we are saved from. And what do we become? Heirs of God. We are his adopted children and he therefore allows us to be co-heirs with his Son, co-heirs with Christ. I know this means we go to Heaven and beyond that, I am not sure what our inheritance will be or look like. Maybe just being in his presence is inheritance enough? I know our earthly inheritance involves tons of grace, mercy, and peace with God beyond understanding. But after death it will be a big surprise. But the point is, his firstborn not only FREELY shares his inheritance with us, but calls us brother and sister while his Father calls us daughters and sons. We are no different in his eyes because all he sees is his righteousness through Christ.
Micah bodly calling Scott her daddy reminded me of the beauty of both earthly and heavenly adoption. Adoption into our family is just a blessing, but an example of what God has done for us. We are in no way genetically related to his son. Jesus was perfect; holy. We are far from either. Yet we are his heirs. Wow! Just...wow...
Micah, my daughter, my beautifully adopted daughter who looks nothing like me, is my heir, along with Jordan and JW, none of whom are blood related at all. But they are brother and sisters. My children. My heirs. Co-heirs of all my worldly goods.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Monday, July 2, 2012
The Battlefield
I have been thinking a lot lately about war because my baby bro just got back from Afghanastan. The same day he left war, an old college friend was shot down while flying his helicopter and is at Walter Reed with broken bones, expected to live but not to walk for about six months.
So one day I was just thinking to myself about war in the spiritual realm, and how hard it is to be a stay at home mom. I desperately try day in and day out how hard it is for me to be a SAHM. I am used to being on the front lines of the battle. I love evangelism. I love discipleship. I miss ministry the way I knew it through Campus Outreach. I am not a behind the scenes kind of girl. I never was. God made me otherwise.
In my complaining about the monotony of everyday life with an almost 6 year old and 2 three year olds, I asked Scott to make some decisions about our future. You see, anxiety makes it near impossible for me to even decide what to eat, let alone be a helper in making decisions with him. So I asked him about adoption again and moving downtown to join that ministry. To me, the downtown ministry is the front line I am looking for. I get excited to think about what putting one more stake for Jesus in that dark place; one more house to tell Satan that Jesus will reign in this place. Well, he made decisions. He said no more kids because 1) it is so expensive and we have just about dug ourselves out of debt, and 2) emotionally, he sees me gearing up and somewhat excited about the littles going to school a couple days a week next year so he feels that I may be too fragile to handle another. Then he said no to moving downtown. That saddened my heart a bit because it felt like he was taking something away. But his reason was for my protection. He wants our home to be a sanctuary for us, and living downtown means one is always "on". On guard against the outside coming in. On guard against drug dealers, prostitutes, everyday dangers of living in the bad area of town. Gunshots. Robbery. Then keeping your kids safe through it all. Scott decided it wasn't where God was calling us.
My next thoughts were back to being a stay at home mom. I started once again to complain, talk about spiritual warfare, etc. Then it hit me. I am on the front lines NOW. We adopted children and saved them from the unknown. JW could have been dead at 21, while Micah and Jordan could have ended up pregnant. Not that they still can't should they choose to disobey God's word, but it felt like in a way we were doing what the downtown ministry does but on a smaller scale. I was literally in mid-sentence when I stopped and said "That is why being a stay at home mom is so hard. I long for days when I can get out of pajamas and go talk with people who are at least half my age. But I can't do those things right now because I am raising children. I am on the front lines of the war against evil. And that is why being a stay at home mom is so dang hard." For the first time I actually realized why it is hard. It isn't me. It isn't them. It is Satan trying his damn hardest to get me to look only at what is right in front of me instead of what is going on behind the scenes.
I needed God to remind me that monotony isn't just that. It is war. With every mac and cheese served I am giving Satan one more reason to fight even harder. So if I think that this is the hard part because they are so young and under my feet, I am wrong.
This came to mind on the way home from our family vacation. I think it is worth penning to have for me to read whenever I need to.
"If hell is sin unleashed, then I must fall on my knees in thankfulness, for God has saved me from his wrath. If heaven is Christian hedonism unleashed, then my one reaction should be to rise from my scarred knees and praise the God from whom this hedonism can begin."
Sin unleashed = scary, scary thought. Every thing I am scared of here on earth (rape, murder, being kidnapped), every thing I struggle with (jealousy, covetousness, anxiety), plus all the things I am naive to will be unleashed on the souls that Satan managed to "win". This is his pleasure.
Christian hedonism, well, I cannot begin to even fathom it. But I do know that as I slid down watersides with Jordan this week, her eyes were massive and her smile was so big all you saw was lips and gums with tiny teeth in there somewhere. Multiply that by 1000 and I might be able to understand Heaven. The joy I felt in seeing her happy is indescribable. I cannot imagine the joy that awaits me as God unleashes what pleases him on his children.
So one day I was just thinking to myself about war in the spiritual realm, and how hard it is to be a stay at home mom. I desperately try day in and day out how hard it is for me to be a SAHM. I am used to being on the front lines of the battle. I love evangelism. I love discipleship. I miss ministry the way I knew it through Campus Outreach. I am not a behind the scenes kind of girl. I never was. God made me otherwise.
In my complaining about the monotony of everyday life with an almost 6 year old and 2 three year olds, I asked Scott to make some decisions about our future. You see, anxiety makes it near impossible for me to even decide what to eat, let alone be a helper in making decisions with him. So I asked him about adoption again and moving downtown to join that ministry. To me, the downtown ministry is the front line I am looking for. I get excited to think about what putting one more stake for Jesus in that dark place; one more house to tell Satan that Jesus will reign in this place. Well, he made decisions. He said no more kids because 1) it is so expensive and we have just about dug ourselves out of debt, and 2) emotionally, he sees me gearing up and somewhat excited about the littles going to school a couple days a week next year so he feels that I may be too fragile to handle another. Then he said no to moving downtown. That saddened my heart a bit because it felt like he was taking something away. But his reason was for my protection. He wants our home to be a sanctuary for us, and living downtown means one is always "on". On guard against the outside coming in. On guard against drug dealers, prostitutes, everyday dangers of living in the bad area of town. Gunshots. Robbery. Then keeping your kids safe through it all. Scott decided it wasn't where God was calling us.
My next thoughts were back to being a stay at home mom. I started once again to complain, talk about spiritual warfare, etc. Then it hit me. I am on the front lines NOW. We adopted children and saved them from the unknown. JW could have been dead at 21, while Micah and Jordan could have ended up pregnant. Not that they still can't should they choose to disobey God's word, but it felt like in a way we were doing what the downtown ministry does but on a smaller scale. I was literally in mid-sentence when I stopped and said "That is why being a stay at home mom is so hard. I long for days when I can get out of pajamas and go talk with people who are at least half my age. But I can't do those things right now because I am raising children. I am on the front lines of the war against evil. And that is why being a stay at home mom is so dang hard." For the first time I actually realized why it is hard. It isn't me. It isn't them. It is Satan trying his damn hardest to get me to look only at what is right in front of me instead of what is going on behind the scenes.
I needed God to remind me that monotony isn't just that. It is war. With every mac and cheese served I am giving Satan one more reason to fight even harder. So if I think that this is the hard part because they are so young and under my feet, I am wrong.
This came to mind on the way home from our family vacation. I think it is worth penning to have for me to read whenever I need to.
"If hell is sin unleashed, then I must fall on my knees in thankfulness, for God has saved me from his wrath. If heaven is Christian hedonism unleashed, then my one reaction should be to rise from my scarred knees and praise the God from whom this hedonism can begin."
Sin unleashed = scary, scary thought. Every thing I am scared of here on earth (rape, murder, being kidnapped), every thing I struggle with (jealousy, covetousness, anxiety), plus all the things I am naive to will be unleashed on the souls that Satan managed to "win". This is his pleasure.
Christian hedonism, well, I cannot begin to even fathom it. But I do know that as I slid down watersides with Jordan this week, her eyes were massive and her smile was so big all you saw was lips and gums with tiny teeth in there somewhere. Multiply that by 1000 and I might be able to understand Heaven. The joy I felt in seeing her happy is indescribable. I cannot imagine the joy that awaits me as God unleashes what pleases him on his children.
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