Mind is Blown

Ugh. I have a lot on my mind tonight. I won't post it all, but I at least want to get my thoughts out there. I'll stir over it a few days before coming back. Number one: I just watched this on MTV called No Easy Decision. It followed a young couple as they pursue abortion as her choice for an unplanned pregnancy. It broke my heart into a thousand pieces. Her boyfriend was much less emotionally tied to the pregnancy becuase he views it as a blob of cells, a "thing" is what he refers to the baby as. The girl, through tears said "that 'thing' would have become this" as she points at her 8 month old baby. It didn't have 10 fingers and toes yet, but it was more than a thing, and this mom knew that.

Then, this morning while traveling home from Scott's parents we listed to Laura Ingram speak on the genocide on black babies that is commonly called abortion. She spoke with the cofounder of Radiance.org (amazing organization). 37%, THIRTY SEVEN PERCENT of all abortions performed are performed on a black woman. Millions and millions of babies that could have been doctors, lawyers, mothers, missionaires, car salesmam/woman, teachers, etc. Millions and millions of children who could have been productive members of society are never given the chance. Yet when an extreme pro-choicer is asked about this the response is that these children would have more than likely been born into poverty and probably wouldn't have ever outlived the poverty. Um, so this means it is better for the child to never have lived rather than allowing life and giving them the opportunity to actually rise above the circumstances. This doesn't add up to me.

The last thing I heard today that really hit me hard was what the pro-choice momvement has done to men and their view of responsibility. Basically, a baby is conceived yet they have no responsibility. The responsibility is on the woman to make whatever decision she wants. At that point the man can decide how much involvement he wants to have. He is taken completely out of the equation. He has no say. If he says "Don't do it." he better hope he has a girlfriend who cares what he wants too. Some girls don't care and will do what they want to do. What this has ultimately lead to is the idea that men don't have to be responsible which has since led to the fatherless home. It is the home where money is sent every once in a while, where the father will say "I take care of my kids" but all that really means is "I send my baby mama money when I have it." That is as far as the "taking care" goes. Ugh. Just Ugh. Thank you Planned Parenthood. You have ruined so many lives that didn't even step foot in your office.

MY KIDS ARE PROOF THAT THERE ARE OPTIONS THAT END IN TRUE HEALING FOR BOTH MOM, DAD, AND BABY. ADOPTION HEALS WOUNDS OF INFERTILITY OF THOSE OF US WHO ARE ADOPTING CHILDREN. TRANSRACIAL ADOPTION HEALS RACIAL SCARS IN OUR TOWN AND IN OUR NEIGHBORHOOD. TO CHOOSE ADOPTION WOULD BE HARD. BUT IN THE LONG RUN, WHICH WILL YOU LIVE WITH MORE REGRETS OVER: ADOPTION OR ABORTION. THE REGRET YOU LIVE WITH IN ABORTION WILL BE THAT YOU ENDED A LIFE. IN ADOPTION THE REGRET (IF ANY) MAY BE THAT SOMEONE ELSE IS RAISING YOUR BABY. BUT UNLIKE IN ABORTION, THERE IS A LIFE TO REJOICE OVER IN ADOPTION. CHOOSE ADOPTION! PLEASE! THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS AN UNWANTED BABY.

Vengence, with a side of Vent

About a week ago, while in Walmart on a Sunday after church, some random lady (whom I have never ever seen before) walks up to Jordan, starts running her hands through her hair while asking me "Is it all her hair?" and "Do you have oil? It needs oil." Okay, people. Just because I adopted transracially does NOT give you the go ahead on running your I-don't-know-you-from-Adam-stranger-hands through my daughter's hair. While I recognize that the lady was probably well-meaning and didn't mean to be rude, it is just plain rude. I don't go up to any one else's kid and tell you they need new shoes, I expect the same respect. Why? Because I am a parent. Because I love my children. If I ask for advise then you can start touching my kids heads and telling me of the newest oils on the market. But if I am Christmas shopping at the last minute because Scott up and decided he wanted a PS3 and my daughter is doing laps around the cart, please don't talk to me about oil. Thankyouverymuch.

Last Sunday (yes, one week later), said daughter and I were making yet another Walmart run. We are on our way in, and who would you know is walking out? The same darn lady, only this time, Jordan has beautiful twists done by this very white and pastey mom :) The lady looked at me, looked at her, then looked at me again. I politely said "This is what her hair normally looks like. See, I do know how to fix it." She looked shocked, couldn't believe I actually fixed her hair. (Maybe she was shocked at the fact that I stopped her and very sternly drew attention to Jordan's hair. What can I say? I was a little ticked off the first time we "met.") She then went on to tell me what a great job I did and how wonderful it is that there are people like me out in the world. I'll take that compliment, thankyouverymuch. And yes, it is good that there are people like me. In fact, there are a lot of people like me. But in the end we are just moms who followed God's call on our lives. This call led us to blessings in the form of children...and I don't want strangers running their hands through her hair.

Grammar Police

Please do not judge me based on my last few blog updates. I realize I need to proof read. I also realize that I may look slightly, um, dumb based on those posts alone. Rest assured, I am not dumb (that I know of) and I simply hate proof reading. This is only one reason why I hated English classes in high school and college.

Apology Accepted

I know that is what will happen; my apology will be accepted. There is no way it won't be accepted, and it will probably be eaten up with great joy. I yelled at Jordan way too much today. It was a rough day, and for the most part she hung in there like a champ. But when I was no longer at ease with the day and had become quite stressed, I took it out on her. So tomorrow I will lead by example and say I am sorry for the cutest 4 year old on the block. I have to say that I am sorry for yelling too much because (in 4 year old terms)is not nice and not okay. No matter how big a pill it is for me to swallow, I hope and pray that she sees the humility and true pride swallowing involved in apologizing to your own 4 year old child and chooses to model it with her brother and sister, and with mom and dad too. Ahhhh, being a Christian parent is not for the weak of heart. But it is small moments like this when I hope we are beginning the process of passing off the batton to the next generation.

Now for a little funny: While at the mall today (ugh...do not attempt when three hungry and tired kids at Christmas time) Jordan got a little tired of me attending to the babies. She needed help. She started screaming, at the top of her lungs, "HELP! HEEEEEELLLLLLP!" Um, Jordan, we are slightly different in the melatonin levels of our skin. It is not cool for you to yell that. haha! I very sternly asked her to stop. I should have told her to yell "Help me Mom." At least that way poor strangers aren't left to wonder if they need to intervene in a kidnapping or not.

Still Alive

That's me. I am still alive and hanging in there. Just tired. I told a fellow twin mom that twins are double the smiles and love but about 100 times the work. Just when I grab JW and pull him off the end table I turn around to find Micah chowing down on a crayon. It never ends. I think Micah would be a relatively easy baby/toddler if her "big brother" wasn't such a rebel at heart. He leads her astray, and very easily at that! They are the best though. They are currently in the midst of a hate-hate relationship haha. They have weeks when they can't live without eachother, but those weeks are quickly followed by weeks when they would rather the other one be permenently strapped into the high chair. This is one of those weeks.

I just had to pop in and record their 18 month stats. They had their well child checkup last week. It was conveniently sandwiched between illnesses. They timed that one just right, which is great because they didn't miss their vaccines. JW ran a fever one weekend, then both were fine, then Micah ran a fever the next weekend. Now they are both snotty messes. Tis the season, right? So, for their 18 month checkups both were healthy and thriving. JW was 30 lbs 10 oz and 34 inches, putting him in the 90th percentile for both. He is consistenly in a 3T now. A 3T!!! He will be my own personal bodyguard as a teen. Now that will be a sight LOL! Petite blonde with a big huge African American son. Picture teen JW saying "Mom" in Walmart! I love it! Love it! More people need to adopt transracially. It is so beautiful :)

Micah was 24 lbs 3 oz and 32 inches, putting her smack in the middle and average for size. She is FINALLY growing hair and while she is very quiet by nature, the girl has 50-100 words and is smart as a whip. Despite the fact that her head is extremely tiny, she is not lacking in brains. The girl is with it.

I have two pictures. I actually have tons on my computer that need editing, but I am too tired to edit these days. The first one is right after we rehung the curtains that Jordan tore down back in May or June. THey are wrinkled from being folded and put up in the closet. Lucky for me the wrinkles fell out. Thank God. I was not about to iron curtains. The second is the reason I hung the curtains back up. We had no privacy. You can see straight into the house. On this day I left to go see a friend and saw the babies chowing down on top of the table and the dog waiting for scraps. HOw do they get up there? Jeremiah is like spiderman. It seems he can climb walls. He crawls up his highchair as if it were a ladder. Either that or he just pulls a dining room chair out and climbs it. He prefers the highchair. I am sure it is just more fun that way. *Insert rolling of eyes here.* Micah usually only climbs on the table if she is in her highchair first. She is a houdini. Even if she is strapped in she somehow manages to get out.

Pregnancy? What's that?

Jordan and I were talking about her friends, Beck and Natalie Claire, who are about to have a new baby sister. We talked about NC becoming a big sister, helping feed the baby, etc. Jordan very casually said "I'll bring the baby home to Beck and NC." I realized at that moment that she has no idea where babies come from. None. It is actually really funny when you think about it. And supremely innocent and sweet. We always talk about JW's agency bringing him home to us, so I suppose she picked up on that. So watch out people! Jordan is bringing people babies.

Jordan's Prayer

"I pray for mama, daddy, Micah, Big J, Grandma Bob and Grandma Bob, TJ and Amber, Maria, Maria's mom and Maria's daddy, Miss Cheri, and Twitch. And all the people of the world, that they would not fight, or lie, or take toys from eachother, that they would obey God's word."

Yes, wouldn't it be nice if the whole world decided to not take toys from eachother?

The last few months

There won't be much commentary here. I just need to post pics of the last few months. I finally got some editing software and had 400 pics to go through. I won't bore you with 400 pics, but I will spam you pretty good!

Today is Sunday, and I am home alone with all three kids. And a headache. I am not yet capable of getting all three to church by myself or I would. For safety reasons I would have to pull out the double stroller to get the babies across the street and stuff in one piece. A double stroller inside First Pres is definitly not gonna happen haha! So instead I will post some pictures. Some are from Jordan's first few days of school and the rest are pretty random pics.





















And finally..."daddy dressed me." Scott successfully made Micah look like a midget.

Pluck

I am up at 1:15 a.m. because I have insomnia. I have had it since we brought Jordan home. Drives me crazy. I normally take ambien, but I ran out and have to go back to the doc on Friday for another refill. When I am sleep deprived my anxiety kicks in. So I am kind of miserable right now. That is a whole other annoying story in itself, but anyway. I have some life altering news for you. It is of the upmost importance and has been weighing heavily on me since last night. Last night, around 2:00 in the morning, I found it. I thought I was going to get lucky and avoid it for just a little while longer. But alas, time has caught up with me. It was a grey hair. I think a single grey hair is like seeing a single roach: there is no doubt that where there is one there are one hundred. Like all the other tragic things that have happened to me this past year, things like becoming forgetful and dressing like a hobo on a daily basis, I blame the babies. The amount of work that twins require shows on my face daily in the form of bags under my eyes and now in the form of grey hair. I plucked that one grey hair out of my head then left the mirror. I don't want to know where the other 99 are lurking.

Nickname

I have heard of people who have a nickname that isn't anything close to their real name, but they got it because a sibling couldn't pronounce their real name and it just stuck. Or my mom, who got the name Grandma Bob from my niece Zoe, and it stayed with her. She is Grandma Bob and forever will be every grand child's Grandma Bob. Well, yesterday JW was wandering the hall and bedrooms looking for Micah. I heard him yell her "name." I guess it is close, but geez, I hope it doesn't stick. He was yelling "caw-caw! caw-caw! caw-caw!" Caw-caw as in poop, dung, "that is a load of caw-caw." Yesterday he yelled at her and told her to "Get down, Caw-caw!" Cute? Yes, but only because it is Jeremiah loving on his sister. Under no other circumstance would I be blogging about this :)

Righteous Justice

Here is a little background: we are all tired. It is bed time. Jordan just pitched a fit because, of all things, it was too hard to go find her pull up for bed, then it was even harder to find her bear. (Things are seemingly harder for her these days. THe other day she pulled out her 100 or so flash cards, but only after I reminded her that they would have to be cleaned up. So she proceeded to play with them, albeit, neatly. Before lunch I asked her to clean them up which lead to a 20 minute whine fest about how hard it is to pick up the cards. "Mama, it is just too hard. Would you help me?" No, I am not helping her. She has simply forgotten how to help herself. I looked at her and she is half wilting away and half picking up ONE CARD AT A TIME and putting it in the bag. She once again asked for help. I went over, picked up about 20, threw them in the bag and said, "There, I helped. Now finish!" It is like the time she told me should couldn't sleep because there was hair on the floor of her room. "Honey, there is hair on your head too, now go to bed." When will she realize that I am smarter than her? I can't claim that for long, but for now I can. And I do. But I digress.) Soooooo, she finally found her bear and I asked if she could help me clean up her crayons before going to bed. This is her chore. She cleans up all the toys before bed time, even if she never played with it. Evidently she didn't want to clean up because she actually told me no then ran away. Since I was basically done and she was running in the direction of her father I figured it would be taken care of by him. At that time I hear her fall and start crying. "Did you hurt your bottom?" Scott was sympathetic. I was not. I was picking up HER paper off the floor when she ran away from me and...wait for it...slipped on a piece of paper in the hallway and landed on her butt. Righteous justice. Sometimes the natural consequences of sin are better than anything I could have done as her mom. Way to go God!

And yes, I will be posting pics this week. Finally. I have a filthy house which needs to be cleaned. But in my "free time" I will edit and post. yay!

BEWARE!

Thanks to a friend, I finally have some editing software. Do you know what that means? I can actually catch up on the last month of my life in pictures. Beware! This means you, my dear unknown reader, will be bombarded with Big Boy, M, and J cuteness. Soon and very soon! Keep in mind...soon is a very loose term around these parts.

For the Record

I don't keep baby books. I just don't. Heck, I haven't printed out pictures of the last four years either. I am bad about that kind of stuff. Jordan had her 4 year check up on Monday and because I don't keep a baby book, I have nowhere to jot down the important stuff. She weighed in at 33.5 lbs and 39 7/8 inches. This is HUGE. Wanna know why? Because, while her weight followed her usual growth curve (25th percentile), her height is in the 50th percentile. My Jordan, who started out in the 10th-15th percentile for everything has actually grown. A lot! To put it into perspective, she was still wearing a 2T last summer, now she is growing out of 4T. Right before her 3 year check up, she hit a little growth spurt that moved her up to the 30th percentile. And she has just kept growing from there. Yay Jordan! I thought that the 4T stuff she was wearing all summer was starting to look a little short. Now I know why. Thank God for The Childrens Place, with their slim fitting clothes and adjustable waists. I don't know that Jordan wouldn't own a pair of pants were it not for TCP.

Now, more good news...we got my pictures! The external hard drive wasn't recoverable, but my old computer was. So now it is all on Scott's laptop and being transferred onto Carbonite.com as we speak. What a relief! First order of business is to get some pics printed off for Jordan's birthmom. She is probably beginning to think I forgot. Then I am printing them off for me.

Now if only we could get the roof on this house replaced and the Honda up and running we would be set. It has been the summer of bad luck for us. Since the van break in, it has been one thing after another. But you know what? We are healthy, in a strong family, with parents who love us and kids who adore us. It can't get much better. Well, I wouldn't mind a million dollars. That would be better for sure :)

Vent

I want my pictures back! Not only that, I want some free time to actually post them! My time is no longer my own. I have zero time. None. Zilch. Jeremiah is the destroyer of all things possible. Yesterday I found him pulling his crib around the room. Pulling it. Like, you know how you pull a wagon behind you with one hand? That is what he was doing, only it was his crib. Just pulling it from one side to the other. Over and over and over. Good times. Micah puts everything in her mouth, so the filth that was under JW's crib was extra special. Between fishing stuff out of Micah's mouth, keeping JW from hitting her, and keeping her out of the toilet (barf) I am pretty busy. Add JW on to all of that, and Jordan who all of a sudden has a fascination with "Mom, watch this" then showing me how she can do some new trick or throw something across the room, well, I am beat. These kids have done me in. Maybe someday I will rise from this and be myself again. Maybe. I am betting that day will be April 24th...the day Jordan starts school. I will have 3 mornings a week with one less kid :) I am honestly a little sad about it right now, but I have been assured that the sadness will last about an hour haha.

Under a Rock

That is where I have been lately. I live under a rock. We have no cable so I never know what is going on in the world of Fox News. I kinda miss O'Reilly. I admit it. I also miss the weather channel. Something about me that you may or many not know is that I am a weather junkie. In college a friend of mine and I used to talk about tornado chasing after we graduated. Maybe our families can still do that some day. But, anyhow, this is a brief sonopsis of the crazy things that have happened this week. God is trying to do something. I feel like this is his way of grabbing our shoulders, holding us really firm, and making us look into our eyes while he tells us some super huge secret.

Last Tuesday the mother of all storms seemed to have just sat on top of our house. The true damage to North Augusta is confinced to a few houses on my street. Our neighbor's tree fell on our powerline, making the line snap in the attic. That meant than SCE&G wouldn't fix it, but we would have to call an electrician. So we did, and we got power back on Thursday night. Wednesday (the day after the storm) we had court to finalize Micah. All went fine. YAY! So now she is legally Micah Ruth Kennedy, not the name she was given at birth. Now back to the storm...we had water coming in the house in 3 different spots. The roofer came assuming we had some roof damage from the storm. Nope. We are just unlucky and bought a house with the worst roof the roofer had ever seen. The 70 mph downburst that came down on my house just made the water go in under the shingles that weren't nailed down, nor did they have flashing in the right spots. So now we have to pay for a new roof. It isn't covered by insurance because it isn't an natural disaster thing, it was just a stupidity thing.

After the storm on Tuesday we thought we were in the clear. Then our tenants called us Sunday morning to tell us that a tree fell on their house during the storm that night. Scott said it is major and goes all the way into the laundry room. $3000 damage! At least it is over the laundry and not over main living areas. So now we are fixing 2 roofs.

Theeeeeen, my external hard drive died. Now we have to pray that someone can get my pictures off of it. If not, I am going to just cry and cry. It has 4 years worth of pics on it. So it has been a rough week. Well, it has been a rough summer. In June it was the van being broken into and now the stuff from this week. Well, at least Scott has to go through it with me.

Intense?

Last night I attending a little Girls Night Out, and the guest speaker talked about parenting. I piped up and asked if it is possible to royally fail your children on both a daily basis and in the long run. Then a few other moms felt comfort in knowing they weren't alone in their fears and spoke up. I think it is safe to say that our intensity acted as birth control for those poor girls who have yet to have kids. Girls, this is indeed the hardest time of a mom's life. Young kids are just difficult, pushy, mean, and bossy. But there is always at least one time of day when they are sweet too. I know I can count on at least one. One doesn't sound like much considering the other 99 times are times of discipline or distress. But rest assured, we live for those rare sweet moments. Like right now...JW and Micah are on the floor kicking their legs like they were flailing fish out of water. Just a cute moment to get me through the next hour until bedtime. This hour is otherwise known as the witching hour, evil hour, or the longest hour of the day. But girls without kids, being a mom really is good haha! I bet this post makes you want kids about as badly as I want to break up another fight LOL :)

On another cute but kid note, JW has learned how to spit. And in fine boy fashion he comes right up to my face to do it, leaving spit on me and a bunch of slobber on his chin and shirt. Soon this spitting will accompany cars crashing into eachother or some super hero taking flight. Ah, boys.

Now, who wants to come babysit my three blessings so I can go get some much needed icecream with Scott? I promise you will be tired and covered in spit...maybe poop too. But at least you get paid for it! HA! (Please sense the sarcasm in this entire post. If you don't, I just come across as mean and ungrateful. Jordan might say I am mean, but she would agree that I am never ungrateful! I beg to differ on the mean part. I am, however, probably one of the most sarcastic people you will ever meet.)

A Few Random Thoughts

1) THis is the picture that is going on my dad's mug for Father's Day. Yes, I know it is way late, but I had a grand plan and a cool mug and it has all fallen through. So now he gets the traditional Dad Day mug, but this year it has THREE kids on it except for just one. Very cool!
2) Jordan fell asleep ont he floor tonight. What makes this worse is that she was without bear. So she fell asleep...without bear...on the floor. She has pretty much outgrown naps except for random ones here and there. On July 4th she was eaten alive by the big country mosquitos at mom's house. I think she has 50 bites. Every once in a while she will tell me she is itchy, but even when she isn't telling me I know she is itchy because she is contantly scratching. constantly. So I had her take some benedryl. I guess the combo of no nap and benedryl did her in. Mental note: No more benedryl if she is already insanely breaking down due to lack of a nap.
3) Today was a rough day. I had some bouts of crying and tears. An almost 4 year old and two 1 year olds is just tough. It would be tough on anyone; there is no way around that. I think that those families who have 10 kids are amazing considering 3 has me pretty nuts. A typical day would go something like this: make Jordan's breakfast, make babies breakfast, while Jordan is eating I wake JW to eat, then wake Micah. Get milk ready for all three. ONce done, they all get milk while I clean up their messes. At some point the dishwasher gets cleaned out so I can refill it with all our empty sippie cups for the day. After breakfast is over the kids fight, er, play for a while and I do whatever needs to be done for 30 min or so until, inevitably, I smell poop. Two babies are up for a diaper change. Then soon after they are down for a nap. Now, if I don't have laundry to fold or a room in need of major cleaning, this first naptime is when I do my quiet time. I try to do this with Jordan so she can see me studying the Bible. She needs to see that happen as often as it can. By the end of quiet time the babies are up. I am lucky if they sleep an hour. I make their sippie of milk and maybe a snack depending on time, get JW up, then Micah. Then they fight, I mean, play. An hour later it is lunch time. I prepare all three lunches, sit all three down to eat. While they eat I clean up the mess made in the kitchen and put dishes in the dishwasher. Then they are all done, so I clean up the mess they made in the living room/dining room. After this, surprisingly, I can sit down for a while. We have a whole hour before nap time. In that hour I will change two more poops and probably wipe a bigger girls bottom after she poops. Naptime comes and I am in hog heaven. Babies go down for 1.5-2 hours of BLISS. Jordan has quiet time in her bedroom; sometimes she falls asleep and sometimes she doesn't. But no matter what, I get time alone. I can fold laundry if I want. Or I can sleep. Usually I sleep. I am awaken by a baby crying. I run to get snacks and milk made for everyone. Give Jordan her milk and snack, go get JW and sit him down for food, go get Micah and sit her down for food. After snack time I clean up the messes (again) and the kids play and fight, fight and play. While they are fighting over the newest plastic Shreck toy I get dinner going and get frustrated because who can cook when you have to break up so many fights? And darnit if JW didn't poop again! Let's hope the sauce doesn't burn while I change him and my eyes burn from the stench of poop. After dinner, things are kind of a blur. Usually everyone goes right into the bathtub. Somehow the kitchen gets cleaned. Scott does that part a lot while I make sure the kids are safe in the tub. After the tub they all get milk, then teeth brushed, then the countdown begins. 1 hour. 30 min. 15 min. 5 min....close enough...bedtime!!!
Somewhere in there we read books to them. Jordan gets the bible read to her at night. I generally read 2-3 books here and there. Micah is a huge bookworm, as is Jordan. All JW wants to do with books is hit somebody with it.
ANyway, today was just one of those days for me. I know all moms have them, but for some reason I feel that the general public feels that I shouldn't have days like this. Afterall, we waited years for these babies. We shouldn't ever have bad days but instead be so thankful for our blessings. *rolleyes* Today was just rough. The kids fought non-stop. I realized that Jordan is about to start pre-K and she still doesn't know her letters/numbers. She can say the ABCs and count, but doesn't recognize them. Bad bad mama! I add to the everyday mommy guilt by feeling guilt over feeling guilty.
4) My friend's mom is dying. She was sent hom today on Hospice care. Kelley is an only child. It breaks my heart. I can't imagine. I put myself in her place and I have 3 brothers who would come mourn as well. I have 3 other brothers to share stories with and grieve with. She is all alone. Please be praying for her. I just can't imagine. It saddens my heart.
5) I sing "Jesus Loves Me" to the babies every night when I am putting them to bed. Today Micah sings "bible" when it comes up, and JW sings "Jesus". Awww. At least they are learning something good from me. I was beginning to worry that all they would learn how to do is scream and clean up. And knowing teens, they probably would fail terribly on the clean up part.

Families Like Us

Nothing gets by her, Jordan that is. Yesterday she looked deep into my eyes and said "mommy, your eyes are different." Alamred by this I asked what she meant. She went on about the white in my eyes having red in them (no thanks to you, kids!) but mostly she was concerned with the fact that my eyes are blue and hers, Micah's, JW's, and Daddy's were all brown. Hmph. This means she is noticing differences in us. She starts scool on August 23. I am sure some boneheaded 4 year old will say something to her and she will be totally taken off guard by it. This is her normal. She has no idea that she is the minority in more ways than one. Jordan, I hate to break it to you, but familes like us are few and far between. That is why we are so thankful for the K familiy down the street, and the couple families in church. You just remember that if someone says something that kind of rocks your world a little, remember that God made YOU special, and that your birthmom thought YOU were so special that she couldn't just keep you and enjoy you all by herself all day and forever. She wanted to share you with another family, and she chose us. And mommy and daddy, we think you are VERY SPECIAL too. Psalm 139 assures us of the lengths our God will go to to make just the right person. HE knits us together in our mothers womb, forms us inside and out. The rest of the Bible is all about the lengths our loving God goes to in order that you, Jordan, might know just how special you are. You are so special that he gave you a book of dos and don'ts to keep us out of harm, and while out of harm we are pointed back to Christ. Christ was God's son and he died because God decided that we were too special to pay the sacrifice our sins require. Even the God of heaven and earth, the beginning and the end thinks that Jordan in the blue bedroom with girly white furniture and tutus galore, yeah, she is pretty special.

In the Eyes

When I was doing this photo shoot I looked at Faith's mom and told her that Faith's eyes were simply stunning through the lens. Well, see for yourself. There are absolutely zero actions done to her eyes. This is genuinly what they look like. I think her mom and dad would agree that it is all in the eyes.

Sneak Peek

Many of you know that my computer crashed and crashed hard a month or so ago. It was right after I did this photo shoot. Since then Scott somehow revived Mr. Computer from the death and it works again. But I had already started editing these photos on Lightroom 3 (free trial). I have to say, I quite like Lightroom. It will be hard to go back to PSE after using Lightroom and I am learning how to use actions and such. This picture, to me, conveys so much emotion. It is sweet, innocent, and so full of love all in one. I love the way dad is looking at Faith, the grin she has on her face, and the way she is stretching out her arms and legs. She almost looks a little shy because of the camera. I wanted to give the Bullingtons a sneek peek of this picture. I couldn't wait. Hopefully it isn't one of those pics that the photographer loves and the parents think "eh, whatever."

I Heart Couponing

I get really excited about these kinds of posts. With the chaos of the month (money wise...lost a lot due to the purse snatcher/window breaker) I haven't been able to keep up with grocery shopping. Our pantry is so very bare right now. It is sad. As soon as payday rolls around I will be shopping. A lot. But today I had to run to drugstores to get some freebies. For those who do CVS and Walgreens, this is actual money spent. I didn't deduct E-Bucks or Register Rewards. If I used those on a purchase I am just including the actual cash spent for that transaction. If I got E-bucks back (for example) I didn't subtract that off my "total". That is always a little misleading to me. So, for $58 of money that actually left my wallet, I got...

Aveeno facewash
Aveeno shampoo
2 Aveeno lotions (big pump bottles)
4 packages Stayfree feminine stuff (sorry to my male readers...although I doubt I have any other than my hubby)
1 box tampons (again, sorry. Just trying to get the list out there for the couponing girls to read.)
2 boxes (42 count) Cottonelle wipes
4 tubes of Pringles
4 cans of Campbell's soup
4 pepsi 12 packs
1 pack of 3 Blistex chapstic for Jordan. I am hoping this will keep her out of my makeup. She has been putting on my lipstick during her "quiet time" in the afternoon. By the way, if it weren't for the pink all over the sink...and the fact that she told on herself...I would have never known she used it. It doesn't quite look the same on dark skin :)
1 dozen eggs
1 box sinus medicine
1 package of boneless chicken breasts. Hey, we need to eat something other than chips for dinner.
2 gallons milk
1 gallon Lactaid milk
2 small boxes Carefree panty liners (sorry to the men folk)
2 bottles Oust air sanitizer
2 bottles Pledge multi-surface
2 packages of 6 Bounty Basic paper towels
2 Snickers bars. In my defense, these were filler items.
1 bottle Purpose face lotion (I wish my face wasn't so darn picky about lotion. This is the only stuff that doesn't break me out like I am 14 again. My face has expensive taste.)

So, I should have gotten the Oust and Pledge for $0.25 each, but stupid me forgot to give the guy my coupons. I am still kicking myself for that. Instead I paid $1.25, which as you couponers know is not a good deal. It isn't terrible, but it isn't a steal, especially considering generic Pledge at Walmart is $0.89. $0.25 would have been a nice steal. But, 41 items for $58 isn't bad. I can't complain. Especially when I got so much stuff for free. I also qualified for a $10 rebate on the Aveeno items. So technically I spent $48, but since the $10 did leave my pocket I included it in the total.

One thing I forgot to buy was lunch meat. I probably should have bought that instead of Pringles. Oh well. At least I don't have to listen to Scott complain about there not being anything to eat. If there isn't snack food, we don't have food. We could have a pantry full of stuff to make, but if he can't grab it and eat it out of a can or bag, he acts like we are starving.

The Word Never Changes, But We Do

A certain big boy

had me up at the ungodly hour of 5:00 this morning.

I wanted to cry, just like he is in this picture. This is what he does whenever someone is in the kitchen. He cries, screams, stomps feet, whatever is necessary to get his point across. I have no idea what that point is, but I do know that he is very loud and if you didn't know him better you would think he was in extreme pain by being seperated by a gate.

This clumsy boy fell three times last week, busting his lip in three different places.

This boy is now about to fall asleep on the floor. Not fair! So what is a girl to do? I decided I would spend a little time reading my Bible. I focused on Phillippians 4. When studying this in college the idea of letting my gentleness be known to all was kind of foreign. I hadn't been in many situations that called for gentleness to abound. But as a mom this passage takes on real meaning. I want to be gentle with the kids as much as they need me to be gentle. God's word hasn't changed but my life has, making this passage real and applicable today. Now, back to pictures.
Jordan, who can be so sweet and playful with the babies,

has also been destructive.

This was taken half way through the cleanup process. For an reason only understood by other 3 year olds, an entire bottle of baby powder all over JW's room seemed like a good idea.

A swing on the curtains brought down a chunk of plaster as well as the ugly curtains. I am not sad to see the curtains go. However, I am sure that neighbors would really like to see us put some curtains back up. Noone wants to see the mess in this house!

Lastly, I wonder how much hotter it needs to be before we are close to what it will feel like in hell. Because honestly, 97 degrees with 97% humidity at noon is pretty darn close to what I would consider hell.

#3

Have you seen the billboards about town? I am sure you have. They are simple yet so powerful. It is a black and white photo of the most beautiful black face you have ever seen. At the top it says "Black and Unwanted." Heartbreaking. That sums it up for me. It is heartbreaking. At the bottom is www.toomanyaborted.com. I have been meaning to go to the site for a while. I figured it was probably much like www.blackgenocide.org. And it is. But something about it is much more powerful. This group, started by Ryan Bomberger, advocates not only adoption as the option, but they also are bold enough to say that transracial adoption is okay. Ryan himself was adopted by a white couple at the age of 6 weeks. As a product of rape, his birthmom loved him enough to give him life, then to go on and give him to a family who loved Christ and therefore loved him. This was in 1971. I'd like to shake the hands of his mom and dad someday. Anyhow, there was a quote that I felt deserved a post of it's own.

We are a nation still so uncomfortable with the hue of our skin that we miss out on the ultimate act of racial reconciliation–loving a child of another race simply because they deserve to be loved.

Of course he is speaking directly to those who are still on the fence about transracial adoption. (It blows my mind to think that there are actually still people out there who believe that abortion or kinship care is better than transracial adoption.) But it made me also think about my friends downtown who are laying down their lives for a group of young people who, if it weren't for the Wilkins, the Medlins, the Keoruglians (or however the heck that one is spelled), the Aitkens, Figgins, etc...would have no idea what it means to be loved. Let us continue to take bold stands for Christ, to look status quo in the eye and say "ENOUGH", and to love those who have been deemed as unlovable and unwanted. Let us redeem the poor for Christ in order that ashes may be transformed into beauty, life from death, and wealth from scraps of nothingness. Children and babies deserve more.

Piggyback

This is post #2 for today. I think there will be 3. Jordan is at my mom's for the day, so hubby and I decided to brave the heat with the babies and just go run some errands. We blew money on lunch which was very nice. We rarely eat anywhere without a playground these days :) Then we went to Target. Oh, did I tell you? I got my purse back! It had everything in it except my social security card, one credit card, and my COUPONS! My coupons were all gone! I think it probably all just got seperated from my purse. The sheriff's department went through my purse, cataloging all of my belongings. My guess is that it just got lost either in the ditch it was found in or at the police station. Who would steal coupons? Anyhow, the shopping list I had made for Target, along with the coupons, were all still there. So we went to Target (where I saved $16.75, thankyouverymuch).

Anyhow, we were chatting about my last blog post and it's spiritual significance. Scott mentioned that Jordan crying out for me wasn't necessarily because she knows she needs me. She doesn't know her own neediness. It was a comfort thing. Afterall, she doesn't even know what she needs at this point. She doesn't know she needs food, shelter, water, and love. Those are things she wants (or so she thinks). She wants chocolate milk when she wants it, or dinner right when she wakes up from a nap. Right now, she is comforted by knowing I am in the house and available to give her what she wants. It isn't a need thing. Then I got to thinking about the differences between a need and a want. We have it all wrong in this country. This goes for both Christians and non-Christians alike. For us, shelter, food, love, are all wants. Because 99% of us will never go without, we don't know what it is like to need those things. The result of that is a huge lack of contentment and very wrong view of God. When our needs become wants, we are never satisfied. When my need for food transforms into a want for Outback steaks, I am not thankful for the spaghetti provided by God. In turn, discontentment brews because my view is that God is withholding something from me. If Jordan wants chocolate milk but I give her white instead, she will be mad. Why? She knows I have the capability of turning that milk brown and she is upset that I have chosen to keep it from her. She doesn't care that I don't want to load her up on sugar before bed. She only cares about what she WANTS and not what she NEEDS. As I go through life and move from one home to the next bigger home, or from used cars to nicer used cars, I pray that God would always remind me of my needs and keep me from indulging in wants.

Not to totally change this to an unspiritual post, but how different would our society be if wants were needs? Instead of expecting handouts, we would be content to work. People want so much and don't realize in what ways they are truly provided for. We all just want, want, want without stopping to think "Hey, what I need truly is given to me." If that was our mindset we would all be just a little more thankful for what we have.

I gotta cut this one short. JW is sucking on a sippie cup he found. I have no idea where he found it or how old it is, but what I do know is some sort of liquid is in it. (Lord, protect him from whatever yuck is living in it.) Too late...all gone. Guess I will give the poor kid some fresh milk.

Mom = Jesus

This post may go long, or it may not. I have lots of little things to say and I don't know...maybe I will just split it up into smaller seperate posts. Right now I have a big huge JW sitting on side of me. The problem is that he is so big that he doesn't sit next to me; he leans on me because he is sitting in the crack of the couch causing his weight to shift. This is rendering my left hand about useless. Micah is "sitting" on the other side. I say "sitting" because she doesn't sit. She sticks her little finger in my eyes, belly button, mouth, and any other hole she might find. She steps on me in an attempt to see over the back of the couch. Her little tiny size 3 feet and toes always happen to hit my bladder as she climbs up my stomach and face to see what fun is on the other side of the couch. To have the two of them on the couch with me makes blogging very hard. Oh, now Micah has her finger in JW's mouth. He doesn't seem too annoyed, not yet anyway.

I spent much of last night watching "Gotcha Day" videos on youtube. If you don't know what a Gotcha Day is, it is the day an adoptive parent waits for; it is the day we get to pick up our God ordained baby. Looking back, it is the day we say we "got Jordan" or "got the babies." It all made me a little centimental. Sometimes I still can't believe we have the kids we have and that they all have such great stories to go along with their adoptions. Adoption is a picture of how God reaches down to dirty, hungry, needy orphans, scoops us up in his arms and says "I gotcha." As a mom, I say this almost daily when someone is in need of a calming hug. The other day Jordan woke up from her nap and couldn't find me or her daddy. We were outside, but she didn't know that. She wandered around the house yelling "mama". I could hear her frantic and scared cry. She thought I was gone, that I had left her all alone. I came inside and held her, just whispering into her ear that I would never leave her all alone. She said "But I was yelling and you didn't hear me." I did hear her but I was helping Scott with something and I knew she was okay for a minute or two. I was so struck by the spiritual parallels this day. Jordan doesn't know her own neediness. She actually thinks I would be dumb enough to leave her alone. It is as if she really honestly believes that I forget she needs me. She was so scared, so frantic, and just weepy. Then her thinking led her to believe that I didn't hear her. We are so like this with God. He tells us on a daily basis that he has us firmly in his hands, yet a day comes when we don't see him. Our heart jumps to assuming he has forgotten about our needs and he has failed to hear our cries for help and assurance. It all leaves me to pray, to pray that daily my kids see Jesus, even though they don't know that is what they are looking for. There are two verses that I want all three to remember througout their lives.

John 14:18 "I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you."
Psalm 46:1-2 "God is our refuge and strength, an ever present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear."

Thank You Veggietales

She put on her sunglasses and said "Bye! See you later!"

Where was she going, you ask?
"Bye! See you later! I am going to the Promised Land."


This newly discovered fascination with the Promised Land is thanks to a Veggietales CD that plays over and over AND OVER again in the van. Now if only I had a creative way to teach her about the Isrealites entering the land God had promised them. It is, afterall, the Bible story that the name "Jordan" comes from. Well, one day she will get it. Until then it is nice to see simple biblical stories sink in, even if it is little peas singing:
"Keep walking, for you won't tear down that wall.
Keep walking! For it isn't gonna fall.
It's plain to see, your brains are very small.
So keep walking, cause you won't knock down our wall."

Something tells me that many people thought the Isrealites had super small or no brains at all.

Also, just so you know, the cheesy poses are all her. She is really a camera hog lately. She wants me to take pictures of her doing every little thing. Running in circles...picking her nose..."dancing"...it is all good photography in her eyes.

Living In a Fallen World

It totally bites. I want to use other words but can't because this blog is public *wink wink*. I only use "choice words" in person haha!

Scott and I took the kids to walk around Brick Pond today and came back to find my van window smashed in and my purse gone. All the time and energy and money in that purse is gone. Hundreds of dollars in coupons--gone. That, by the way, will mess up the budget for a couple months. Grrrr! $150 cash--gone. That was my monthly "allowance" and grocery money. I was so looking forward to taking that money and shopping for a $20 dress from Target. Speaking of Target, I had a list of stuff to buy with all my coupons for the trip. Most of what I was going to get would be free after coupons. Gone. Cell phone--gone. Credit cards, debit cards, social security card (they really are serious when they say not to keep that in your wallet), gift cards--gone. Dumbies only wanted the money, obviously. They haven't used the phone or the cards. I mean, they could have just taken the money and left everything else. And if they would have looked 6 inches from the purse in a compartment they would have found money that was to be deposited. Idiots. Now we have to get a new window too. I am trying to have the mindset of "it is just a purse, yada yada yada, we are healthy, yada yada yada." But I am just so furious and feel so violated.

Pass the Catch Up

I haven't posted pictures in a while. I realized that while looking back on old posts. Picture posts are once every 10 or so posts. I need to do something about that. I will start by posting today. I found some pictures taken a month ago, give or take a week. I totally forgot about them. They aren't the greatest of pics. I am still trying to figure out what settings my camera has to be on in the house. This darn house gets no natural light. It is a photographers nightmare! That and the wall to wall wood that is the cave family room. I know noone wants to listen to me ramble so without further adieu, or however that is spelled.

A year ago I was able to do a very sweet photoshoot for my bestest, Courtney. I have to admit, there wasn't one picture that was "wrong". They were all great. So we attempted the same again this year. This year was different. The oldest gave one smile the whole time. The rest of the time was spent picking noses and crying.
This year:

Last yeaf:

I think I should keep taking pictures of Hadley in the rocking chair year after year. What a neat photo collage that would be!
Last year:

This year:

tutu cute! get it? tutu=too, too.

A certain girl must have Bear photographed as well.


There is no real good photographic redeeming value in this picture, but to see all your kids lined up looking out the window is just cute. One of these days I'll figure out what the heck I have to do to get good pictures inside this cave house.

Skyping has become our new in thing. Scott's parents love it because they feel like they can keep up with their grandkids. Jordan loves it because she can see what she looks like with a rubbermaid container on her head.


She is growing up so fast! She is so so sooo close to breaking out into full sprint. She has decided that she can say just about anything you ask her to say, but her favorite is still "mama".


Feeling a bit rejected :(

My favorite little big boy EVER! He is such a joy and his eyes melt my heart every time.



Because, as you know, a favorite leaf must be photographed. A favorite 4 year old will always be photographed.



For a nice encouraging story, after the babies went down for their morning nap I pulled out my bible and bible study I am working on. I told Jordan it was quiet time. She could color or read, but I wanted to do bible study and needed quiet. She jumped up and said she wanted to get her bible to write in too. (YIkes! Please don't write in your bible!) I got her a coloring book of different bible stories, read her the story that goes along with what she was going to color, and that was that. I love that she chose to mimic the one really good thing I did all day. I also love that the mimicing lasted all of 5 minutes. The attention span of a kid can be humorous at times.