Merry Christmas!

I hope that everyone has had a wonderful day. Ours started with letting Jordan open gifts. She opened the first one and stopped. It was playdoh and it took her breath away :) She had to have it opened for her immediately and she played with it the rest of the day. I had to open the rest of her gifts and force said gifts into her lap. I bought her a very very cheap doll and bottles from Walmart that she LOVES. She has been feeding her baby juice and milk all day. She also demanded that her daddy give the baby hugs and kisses.

Grandma and Grandpa Bob gave her a fairy outfit for dress up. She wanted it put on that very minute. She looked awefully silly with a fairy dress (complete with wings) over her Christmas dress. But it gets sillier. Knowing her love of shoes, Grandma got her a pair of tennis shoes to grow into. She had those on as well. Unfortunately I couldn't get a picture...she wouldn't stand still for me. Here is her upper half at least.

Cousins. Ebony and Ivory :)

So sweet. Jordan was tiiiiiired from her hard day with only a short nap. The only thing that kept her from crying all night was Charlotte's Web (the old cartoon one). She loves it and requests it at least twice a day. I don't normally let her watch it twice a day but today was an exception. She was in such a terrible mood (due to being tired) by the end of the day that I had to use it to keep her quiet. I guess it works to keep Scott quiet too.

Scott is trying to give Jordan some kisses.

The price of a soul

We Americans are so spoiled. We drive nice cars, eat healthy (or not) meals three times a day, sleep on comfy beds, and have more clothes than any one person needs. What makes all this worse is that most of us go into debt to obtain those things. After Scott finished seminary we bought a house, 2 new used cars, and furniture to go in this great home. All of this was on credit. We paid cash for nothing. (Bad I know; but bear with me. I do have a point.) I don't think we are all that different from most Christian Americans. My generation has no idea how to pray and wait for something. We are clueless about how it feels to want and long for something. When we want it, we go get it. This leaves us lacking the ability to empathize with those who have nothing. We have no idea what it means to not have cool clothes. Lord willing, we will never know how it feels to ride the bus or use food stamps. This doesn't mean we have it all together financially. As most people do, we have debt. We have a lot of debt...way more than what we should have. Yet like 99% of other Christians there is one thing that we don't want to go into debt for. A child. Ask any Christian who has thought about adopting and they will say that the cost deters them. Okay, point made. But will the cost of the van you desperately want deter you? Nope. Will the cost of that house deter you? Not likely. You will probably just adjust your budget to make the house payment fit. But the cost of a child will deter anyone. Where is the logic in that? There are children all over the world who have no parents. There isn't one person who will claim them as their own. They celebrate Christmas alone (if it is celebrated at all), birthdays alone, and once they turn 18 they are sent out into the world to fend for themselves. I have been thinking a lot about this lately. As we are waiting and waiting for our baby my mind often turns to the money. Where in the world is it going to come from? We don't have it. We have to borrow every single dime. I already have enough debt do I really need to take on more? Scott is always very good about speaking truth to me in these times of worry. He reminds me that we aren't taking on debt for our own self fulfillment. We take on the debt for the soul of the child the Lord gives us. We pay the money for a baby so that he or she will be given the opportunity to know the Lord. So essentially we are paying some random agency so that we can share Christ with a child. My point is this: I think many of us Christians have it wrong. Now I realize that not every person is called to adopt. That is a no brainer. God has not called us all to do it. But I hear so many say they won't do it because of money; it just seems to be a bit of a cop out. It is okay to say you don't feel called to it. But to say that you won't pay for the soul, well, it just seems absurd. As one who is obviously passionate about adoption I would rather hear a fellow Christian say "I don't feel lead to adopt because blah blah blah" than to say they can't afford it. Do you think I can afford it? Do you think Shane and Greta (Journey to Selah---read it!) can afford to continue to fight the system in Kaz? Seriously. Do you think we can afford it? Do you think the average person who spends 40k or more to rescue a girl from China can afford it? Those who rescue children from overseas are saving them from so much. The family who goes to Ethiopia saves a child from what would have been certain death from AIDS. The couple who goes to China snatches a little girl from a future as a prostitute. And what about the baby who is born here in the states? While we may not be keeping that child from a life in an orphanage, we are giving them Christ. There is no telling what type of family may have otherwise adopted that child. Whe we adopt we know that we are giving them Jesus. I think this post has become way more wordy than I intended for it to be. I just wanted to make a point. This is my point...

"He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all..." Romans 8:31

God spared no expense to adopt us. Nothing. His own son wasn't safe. No cost was too great. He sacrificed for me. I think I can sacrifice a bigger house and take on a very small monthly payment. A person's soul is at stake. When you compare what I sacrifice to what God sacrifices, well, it is laughable. I give up a little financial comfort for a few years. He up gave his son.

I would like to end this post by saying I am sorry if anyone is offended. But I can't do that. I am not sorry. Of course I don't want to anger anyone. But what I do want to do is challenge priorities. If God is speaking to your heart in the least bit regarding adoption, don't tell him you can't do it because of money. Where would we all be if he said he couldn't afford the cost of our adoption?

Pippy

Jordan's hair is a learning experience for me. Overall I think I have done a fine job. But I have some not so good moments too. I am not sure that you can classify this as a not so good moment, but it can at least be classified as funny. Last night I washed and brushed Jordan's hair. This is a looooong process that we are both beginning to grow wary of. After the wash and brush, I then did the normal routine of putting it into puffs. The thing about the puffs is this: they are adorable the day I actually fix them. But then once they are slept on they become flat in the back and very very tangled. To see her profile with those flattened puffs is just hilarious :) She looks like she's been hit by a book or something. So last night I decided I was going to braid the puffs just to see what it would look like. It was and still is quite a sight. Last night and this morning she had one that laid down and one that stuck straight out to the side. At one point today I took the braids out just to see how it looked. We had to run to Walmart and I didn't want her to look completely ridiculous. It is one thing for me to get a good laugh out of her hair. But I don't want total strangers laughing at her. Anyway, as luck would have it her hair was soaking wet from her bath this morning so the puffs curled right up just like normal. Before her nap I put the braids back in to keep her hair from tangling so badly. She woke up with two braids sticking straight out of her head! LOL! It is so funny! Poor child. I get a lot of laughs from her hair. I have decided that the braided puff will help with our tangle problem. I'll just have to figure out a way to make the puffs look normal when I take them out of the braids. Maybe a spray bottle of water or something will work.

Tutu fun!

Jordan went to her very first birthday party today :) This should have been fun, but she was her uncooth self and cried the.whole.time. Seriously. I thought I was going to go crazy. As soon as we got in the car she was fine. Just fine. Normal Jordan. Maybe the next baby won't hate crowds so much. She hates them and they do have a tendency to send her over the age. With that in mind I doubt she will be the most popular girl in school. Anyhow, I digress. The party was a princess party. Scott was such a sweet doting dad. I told him this morning that it was a princess party and she didn't have anything princessy. I was okay with it, especially since she is 2 and doesn't know the embarassment of showing up dressed wrong. But he wanted to get her some princess stuff. Instead of the traditional Disney princess dress up stuff, I went with the cutest ever tutu from the Fancy Nancy line at Target. It was adorable!
So here is Jordan in all her tutu glory.

checkin' herself out in the mirror. This is a frequent occurance. She loves herself :)

I see the future teenage attitude and it ain't pretty.

cute tutu butt

Thoughts on adoption

I just read a blog about adoption. I wish I would have bookmarked it because it was so encouraging to read. But I didn't. I guess I'll just have to go back, back, back after posting this. Anyway, it had me a little teary eyed. Unless you adopt or are close to someone else who has done it, you have no idea how much emotional energy goes into the process. Right now when I talk about our upcoming adoption I talk about the money. Oh how I worry about money. I wish I was someone who just could think "It is just money" but I am not. I am working on it though. But honestly, money is something I feel I have a little bit of control over. Scott and I control it in enough of a way that we are confident we can scrape it together through various means of borrowing. What I don't have control over, however, is our birthmom. I have no idea where she is right now or what she is doing. She could be doing drugs. She could be having sex. She could be worshipping God...I don't know! I have no control over whether she sees the doctor, takes her vitamins, or prays for the health of her unborn child. No one has any idea how hard it is to have your baby in someone else's belly. I am so confident that my baby is alive and soon to be born that I pray for him/her daily. I pray for our birthmom, that she would know God if she doesn't already, that she would walk away from unhealthy habits, and that she would take care of herself for the sake of the baby. I also pray that she would be at peace with her decision for adoption, that God would continue to clarify her decision in her spirit, and that her family would back her decision as well. I also pray that Scott and I would be able to minister to her through our meeting her and accepting her baby into our home. After all, it isn't our baby without her blessing.

Today Steven Curtis Chapman's song "Yous" came on the radio. I am not sure that Jordan has ever heard it...maybe she has...but she quickly caught onto the chorus and was singing "Yours God! Yours God! Everything is Yours!" I was nearly in tears listening to her praise God. Even though she has very little understanding of God right now, I believe that what the Bible says is true. From the mouths of infants and children he has ordained praise. For whatever reason, God chose us to raise Jordan and to teach her his ways. So while she sang the song at the top of her lungs I thanked God for her. Our labor for her was hard. The road was paved with so many ups and downs. I cried a lot of tears while I waited for THE baby God had for us. And I am doing the same now. Though I admit I have cried far fewer tears as a result of having been down this road before. But I still get a little wet around the eyes when I think about the fact that Baby Kennedy is out there somewhere and I don't know where. I am left with no other option but to pray for him/her and that God would bring him/her home soon so that she (I am convinced it will be another girl) can sing with her older sister that she too belongs to God. We are yours God! Yours God! Everything is Yours!



Lyrics to the song:
I walk the streets of London
and notice in the faces passing by
something that makes me stop and listen
My heart grows heavy with the cry
Where is the hope for London
You whisper and my heart begins to soar as I’m reminded every street in London is Yours

I walk the dirt roads of Uganda
I see the scars that war has left behind
Hope like the sun is fadingand they’re waiting for a cure no one can find
And I hear children’s voices singing of a God who heals and rescues and restores
and I’m reminded that every child in Africa is Yours

It’s all Yours God, Yours God, everything is Yours
From the stars in the sky to the depths of the ocean floor
and it’s all Yours God, Yours God, everything is Yours You’re the maker and keeper, Father and ruler of everything
It’s all Yours

I walk the sidewalks of Nashville
like Singapore, Manila and Shanghai
I brush by the beggar’s hand and the wealthy man and everywhere I look I realize
Just like the streets of London
for every man and woman, boy and girl All of creation, this is our Father’s world

*****The 2008 radio single version adds this fourth verse (written after the death of his daughter, Maria)*****
I’ve walked the valley of death’s shadow
So deep and dark that I could barely breathe
I’ve had to let go of more than I could bear
And questioned everything that I believe
But still even herein this great darkness
A comfort and hope come breaking through
As I can say in life or death
God we belong to you.

More DC pictures (AKA post #3 for the day)

Of course Bear had to make the 10 hour trip with us.

I love this! Jordan is holding her Uncle Aaron's hand while dancing to The Wiggles.

Jordan with her "cousin" Isaiah watching what I assume is The Wiggles. Isaiah is a great cousin to Jordan. Though they aren't really related, they are by marriage (my brother married Isaiah's sister). So we just call them cousins. I think that is fine by them both :)

Some DC pictures

My mom, Jordan, and I recently took a trip to Washington DC. Aaron was graduating from TBS (a big Marine Corps deal...trust me). So of course I had to go root him on as he got his diploma. While there we visited with his in-laws, who happen to also be my parents best friends. They are also pretty cool spiritually speaking. Below is my niece Savannah (the blonde) and her aunt Hannah; I think that little fact is so fun! Mike and Sandy are still rescuing orphans even though their first set of children are grown. It is like they started over for the sake of the call. And guess what? They aren't done yet! Grace should be coming home from China in January and after that they will adopt an older African American boy from the foster care system. I hope that when I am old enough to have grandkids that I still rescue orphans, thereby giving them Christ.

Yup, that is Sandy amongst the brood of children. The kids were loving hamming it up for the camera. Well, Jordan could care less. I think she sees the camera a little to often.

Leaves!!!!

We had a random warm day today so I decided to let Jordan play outside.
Leaves!

Here she is showing off her new skill: jumping off the bottom step. Don't worry. It is only about 2" tall.

Oh the joy of a big stick!

Holy tantrums Batman!

Today was a terrible day for poor Jordan. It seems that as her language boomed, so did the tantrums. Not only have they gotten more numerous, they are just worse. They are louder and much more offensive to this mom. This morning I woke up and began my morning by confessing to God that I have fallen short on my job as a wife and mom. I haven't prayed enough. So, I got up and prayed first and foremost for patience with Jordan. It is like I knew it was going to be a rough day. And it was. Lucky for me most of them were in public *insert rolling of eyes*. They involve lots of kicking, screaming, tugging on my clothes, and "no no no no no no no no". If you could only hear her say this. She says "no" over and over as fast as she possibly can while stomping her feet and screaming. At one point she said she wanted a drink of milk. Okay, fine. Simple enough. I give her milk; she replied by throwing a mini tantrum. I figured maybe she didn't see me pour the milk so I grab the jug and pour some into her cup. I know, it is grasping at straws but I didn't know what to do. Well, that wasn't the answer either. So I finally asked her if she wanted juice and that quieted her down. I know she wanted milk. She clearly said "milk"; besides that, she can say "juice" so if that is what she wanted then she would have said so. At this point I am thinking maybe she wanted a milk box. Who knows. I did manage to get a few cute pictures today which I'll post later.

THE language boom

I just got in from visiting Aaron and Christi in Washington DC. It was great fun and way too short. I just drove 10 hours straight. I drove because my demanding 2 year old dropped something or wanted something every 2 minutes. I get car sick when I have to turn around too much. So I drove and mom did the bidding of Jordan. Well on the way up there Jordan decided it was time for the language boom. She is saying full sentences. It seemed to have happened out of the blue. Wednesday she wasn't say "grandma". Thursday she was. And it is clear as day too. We came home and now she is saying "Twitch". It used to be that Twitch was pronounced guh-nee. I am a little sad to see that one go. It was the last baby thing she had left. Now she isn't a baby. She is a kid who talks and converses and tells us what she wants. And it all happened over a couple days. Fun and sad all at the same time...

Conversing with Jordan

Jordan: shakes my hand "Hello."
me: "hello! how are you?"
Jordan: "Good!"

At this point I am in shock that we actually had a "conversation" that didn't start with "What's this?", "I see...", or the word poop. For whatever reason the word poop is fun. Don't get me wrong; Jordan and I have lots of little conversations. I just don't understand her most of the time. I just nod and agree and encourage her to keep talking. Lately she is so much easier to understand. So our little conversation ended with "good" because I started freaking out and called my mom to tell her about it. I suppose we would have continued on in conversation about physics or anatomy. haha! Or maybe poop...