Fashion Faux Pax

Toddlers are walking fashion disasters. Jordan is no exception. Here she is sporting a belt around the waist (which I hear is in style again) and a bib. Might I add that the bib was worn all day. I tried to tell her that it isn't jewelry but she wouldn't hear it. It was her diamond necklace for the day.

She loves hats too. (P.S.-the color issues I am having with this new camera are about to kill me. A trip to Wolf Camera is in order.)

And she loves shoes with her pajamas.

And a post about Jordan wouldn't be the same were it void of the obligitory crying picture.

More T-Day fun

This computer issue I have is annoying. I can't upload directly to my blog. I have to do it through Picasa. And as best I can tell, I can only load 4 pics at a time. That is not good for this picture-takeraholic. So I have to add multiple posts. Boo hiss!

This pic is to show that I actually do exist. were I to die now I am quite sure that Jordan would have no idea what I look like. This is because Scott refuses to take my pic. I had to enlist my mom. And as you can see it is near impossible to take a picture with a 2 year old.

Zoe is showing off her missing tooth. Grandpa says he can knock a few more out if she wants :)

That Grandpa Bob is one lucky guy!

Thanksgiving Day fun!

This is my nephew Clayton...or Xavier depending on who you ask. He is simply adorable, and quite photogenic too :)

Swinging is the best fun ever!

Further proof that swinging is the best fun ever!

Happy Thanksgiving

Something is wrong with either my computer or our router. I am unable to upload pictures to either blog, which of course is driving me insane. But I can still jump on and say what I am thankful for. I read a book this summer about contentment. The entire basis of the book is that discontentment is rooted in a lack of thankfulness (an ungrateful heart). After reading the book I saw that not only was I always ungrateful for both big and little things which has resulted in a lack of contentment. So this little exercise of writing out what I am thankful for should be good for me :) Here goes nothing...
I am thankful first and foremost for Jesus and the redemption he provides.
I am thankful for my family. They make me feel normal.
I am thankful for my daughter and also very thankful for adoption.
I am thankful for Scott who loves me no matter how mean I am.
I am thankful for the cooler weather and falling leaves.
I am thankful for my home and the cheap house payment.
I am thankful to have two cars that are paid for.
I am thankful for Scott's job security. You have no idea how wonderful it is to never worry about him being downsized.
I am thankful that I can stay home and raise Jordan...no more daycare.

I think that is a good start. I can feel some of the discontentment melting away now.

Confessions Part Deux

Jordan took a nice chunk out of my lower eye lid before bed tonight. That was fun and painful.

Scott texted me and told me that he really loves me and wishes he was with me tonight. I actually believe him. It makes me feel good to know that I am not so hard that I can't feel his love through the phone :) I am also not so naive to know that tomorrow while he is playing ball he will forget all about my sorrows LOL!

So here is my last confession of this pitiful night. I am a wretched man! Who will save me from this body of death? Jesus Christ! (See, studying Romans is paying off.) At the end of the night I have a stinging eye and swollen eyelids. But you know what? I am very much loved. God has given me a wonderful husband and daughter and soon-to-be baby #2. I shouldn't complain as much. I am very blessed.

Thank you Nicole for the phone call. God used it to lift my spirits, to remind me that I am thought of and cared for.

Confessions

I am terrible at making sure Jordan eats healthy food. Here was today's menu: breakfast was grits and a couple apple slices; lunch was Golden Grahams and juice (we were on the go...that is my excuse and I am sticking to it!). Dinner was grapes and about a gallon of peanut butter. Just peanut butter. No crackers or bread. At least it was full of protein. It is what she wanted and considering Scott isn't here this weekend I decided not to care. Yes I know those sentences are fragments. It is for effect. Or is it affect?

I am the worlds most selfish mom. I am insanely jealous of Scott right now. He is in San Antonio playing football and eating awesome food while I am stuck at home having zero fun and eating veggie soup. I never get to have fun and it feels like he always does. I feel terribly taken for granted. It is as if no one thinks about the fact that moms want to have fun too. We get a once a year retreat that isn't usually restful. I get a once a year weekend with my college friends. It is awesome but only once a year. He gets basketball every Monday and football weekends once a month. It isn't fair. Our adoption agency has told us that we may be getting a baby by Christmas. While I am very excited and sooo looking forward to a better baby experience than I had with Jordan (thank you panic attacks) I am feeling a little put out because now I won't be able to take the 2 day vacation Scott and I were trying to plan over Christmas.

It is just a bad day all around. At one point the shelves on buffet in the dining room fell apart. I could not get them back together. They just kept falling apart. I took a minute to scream which scared Jordan to death. She cried and clung to me with all her might. That made me feel like #1 mom for sure! Sense the sarcasm? It feels like the only person in my life who cares about this is my mom. I love my mom but I really want to feel like Scott cares and understands. I think he does but how can I know for sure when he is in freaking Texas? If you are reading this and judging me, remind me to set my blog to private *wink wink*.

Mommy moment

This morning was the Wednesday morning ritual of rush rush rush to get to Bible study on time. Unlike Sunday mornings, Jordan loves nursery on Wednesdays. As soon as we pulled into the parking lot and I took my traditional handicapped parking spot (shhhhh...don't tell anyone) she is asking if it is time to play. We pass her Sunday morning classroom where she proceeds to yell "OUCH" and rub the top of her head. Maybe that is why she hates Sundays LOL? Maybe she has gotten hurt in there or something? Wouldn't be surprised. Anyway, we run to the Wednesday morning classroom where she acts shy and goes to play. After all is said and done I went to pick her up. I step into the classroom and see her playing all by herself (normal for my somewhat anti-social kid) and get the biggest smile :) She sees me, grins from ear to ear, and screams "Hiiiiiiiiiiiiii" as she runs for the door. She is so happy to see me! At this moment my soul seems to just rest on a cloud of joy. I love her. A lot.

Acts 16:31

"Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved."

I have to admit that I wouldn't have known this verse if it wasn't for a sweet little children's CD that was given to Jordan. The music itself is tinkery and well, annoying. But it has always had a calming effect in the midst of a 2 year old meltdown. The CD itself is very simple; it is Bible verses set to music. I incorporated this song (Acts 16:31) into our bedtime routine. We read a book, pray, then sing Acts 16:31 and Jesus Loves Me. So it is no surprise that Jordan knows each and every word to both of those songs. But what is surprising to me is that now she can actually say all the words. Before she used to skip most of the, saying only the first and last words in the phrase. But now she can say them all. And she prefers to say them over and over and over. She loves Acts 16:31. Loves it! There is no other way to say it. As a result she insists that it be played repeatedly while in the car. The CD is set to repeat #9. If I try to change the song or Lord forbid, turn off the CD she politely says "Again?" If I say I am tired of the song or whatever she even more politely says "Please?" How can a mom deny her daughter's living desire for the word of God? So, she gets her way every time. This is one time I am okay with giving in. But giving in doesn't mean I have lost the battle. Quite the contrary actually. I see it as winning the battle for her soul :)

Anatomy of a tantrum

Playing with the dog is so much fun, until he gets in between me and my mom.

wait for it...wait for it...

oh there it is!

oh a stool! crisis averted.

What is in the Bible

Jordan came to me today with Scott's huge Hebrew-Greek study Bible. "Look! Book!" Those were her words. I told her it was a very important book; it was the Bible. "Bible?" She repeated it a couple times to make sure she was saying it correctly. Then she proceeded to dive into a very loud chorus of "Jesus Loves Me", ending with the phrase "The Bible tells me so." Just wait little girl. There are many more awesome things awaiting you in this Bible :)

How to change the world

This letter impacted me so much that I literally cried as I read it aloud to Scott. Read it and then I will make my own little commentary. Although I think it speaks for itself. No commentary is needed. This was written by Grant Scarborough. He and Robert Campbell started Christ Community Health Services in downtown Augusta. It is a clinic for the poor and uninsured. And yes, you may have read this on the Figgins blog. I stole it from there. But I had to! I want my kids to read this 20 years from now. Its truth will not change with time.

Occasionally I get inspired to write and this happens to be one of those days. I woke up early to vote for our next president. This is important. Four years of leadership that has the capability of changing our cities, neighborhoods, and even our very lives. Today was the day I made a difference. Standing in line with my diet coke can and granola bar in hand, I waited. One hour I waited. Then my time came, I thought. But they could not find my name. They found my wife’s name. I informed them that I lived with my wife. I even told them she was pregnant, I thought that gave me credibility. Still, no name. They called downtown and I was not listed there either. I walked away dejected. I couldn’t even get an “I voted” sticker. I asked for the sticker and the sweet lady said, “did you vote?” well – you know – I just kept walking. What a wasted hour, well not completely wasted. For over an hour I talked with a lady who was trying to start an inner city medical clinic in a nearby community. Her eyes lit up as we talked, “I’ve heard about you,” she said. We exchanged phone numbers all the while talking with the next guy about his desire to start a once monthly dinner for the homeless. Then my two new Methodist friends used my wifes favorite word “providential.” They smiled as they used this word while I stared in disbelief – or maybe old fashion confusion. Yes, by the time I reached the clinic I was a providentially dejected voter without even a sticker or an opportunity to change the world. I would even say that this is the curse of my mother, but she might read this one day.
All I can do now is pout and see patients. I am good at one of those and not so good at the other and I will let the reader decide. My first patient was a middle aged man from rural South Carolina. He showed up with his CAT scan report in his hand. I read the results before I even saw him – “a destructive invasive neoplastic lesion” obvious cancer that even a good “pouter” can interpret. The CAT scan was performed over a month ago (the words destructive and invasive came back to mind). Where have you been? Seemed like an obvious question. In unbelief I heard a story of rejection. He has been to 4 different hospitals that refused to help since he had no medical insurance, 2 were even state hospitals. No one was willing to give him chemotherapy, radiation, or surgery. I yelled quietly, “What in the heck is wrong with this place?” This guy created in God’s image can die and no one cared. Breathe, exhale and keep going. Patient 2 – A kind inner city man with just your basic medical problems of high blood pressure, diabetes, and high cholesterol. He says everything is fine except…then he points to his head. “I don’t trust nobody doctor.” He tells a tale of sitting in his chair all night long and looking out his blinds every time he hears a noise. He stands alone at the bus stop. He walks alone and turns around if anyone is behind him to make sure he is not being followed. He is big and intimidating but has become imprisoned mentally. His wife passed away over 20 years ago and his son is in Iraq. “I don’t trust nobody doctor,” he repeats again and again. We pray for his tormented paranoid mind that has imprisoned him. After prayer, the man gets ready to leave and then nervously speaks “Doctor…. one more thing…” I don’t have time for ‘one more things.’ “There was an old lady out front who couldn’t pay her co-pay. What’s going to happen to her?” I inform him that people have to pay a little bit to be seen. It teaches them responsibility or something. “Well she said she could pay in a couple of weeks, but I don’t know how she will be able to – Do you mind….. I mean …..Can I pay her co-pay?” I have never seen a borderline paranoid schizophrenic reach out and care for a stranger like this man. I walked back in a closed exam room and wept. Is a president really going to change the world or will it be you and me and my paranoid friend. Has Christ not called us to this time and place to build His Kingdom and love His people? Are we going to change the world in the ballot box and then go home and wait for it to happen? We are his ambassadors, to build his kingdom, love a neighbor, serve the poor, and die to self. That sounds great, but now what?
My nurse is having a yard sale, why don’t you come? In fact, she has gathered a couple of friends to help, because economics tells you the more stuff at a yard sale, the more you make. And she wants to make lots of money. The yard sale is for Calvin – a quadriplegic, that comes to our clinic. He was recently hospitalized because Medicaid does not give him enough gauzes and supplies for all his wounds and his bed is not ideal for his thin quadriplegic body. My nurse was thinking about writing Calvin’s name in for the presidential election, because if he became president he would have better supplies. Instead, she decided to raise the money through a yard sale. She is “wasting” one entire day so a new friend can have gauzes, wraps, and lotion to stay a few more days out of the hospital. Talk about changing the world! She has started with loving her new friend through a yard sale, more than I have done in a long time. It is Election Day and I did not vote; but if I could, I would vote for you, the reader. We need you to walk outside and love those around you for the sake of Christ. Go, serve, build, and die unto the glory of Christ. Have a yard sale, pay for someone who cannot afford his bill, care for someone dying of cancer - - can you see the world beginning to change?

We do tend to put off opportunities to change onto someone else. How often do I think "I don't have the money" or "I don't have the time." What a pitiful excuse for an ambassador for Christ. Courtney called me today to ask me to pray about adopting two sisters from Guatemala. They are 1 and 3. The 3 year old was so severely raped by her father that she is in a full body cast to heal. Well, she is in a cast to heal physically. The 1 year old was stabbed repeatedly by the same father because she wouldn't stop crying. If they aren't adopted they will be turned back over to the same father who has no regard for their lives in the first place. My initial reaction was "We are broke! We can't even afford the adoption we are waiting on right now. How can we throw this one in there too?" But how can we not pray about this? Tripp (Courtney's hubby) knows the guy who runs the orphanage and will do anything in his power to get these girls in a Christian home. There are lawyers that may be willing to donate services. But the money...even aside from those things it will be more than we can afford. We don't have a house big enough, a car big enough, etc. While I don't foresee us actually adopting these two little girls, my mindset was challenged. Then I read this letter. Now I know that I need to take matters into my own hands. Changing the world isn't going to be done on a national scale. Changing the world is done one person at a time.

one more post today (for a total of three)

Just because she is cute :)
P.S. Scott just pointed out that the playdoh labels are out of focus. I think he thought he was telling me something profound about my photograph and skills. So Scott, just so you know, they are out of focus because Jordan is in focus. I am too lazy to switch lenses in order for it all to be in focus. Now, when you pick up a camera and actually take a picture, maybe then you can tell me what is wrong with mine. haha!

An election funny

A friend of mine emailed me today in regards to the outcome of the election. Of course we are none too thrilled with our new president elect. This is what she said at the end of the email:

"I ate six cupcakes today and I don't care. Obama will pay for my government subsidized gastric bypass next year! Enjoy all the snowballs you'd like!"

Knowing my love of snowballs, she encouraged me to wollow in our loss by indulging in lots of pink coconut covered cakes :) haha! At least our sense of humor is still in tact! That line had me laughing out loud! Scott didn't get it. I guess most men don't understand the love of drowning our sorrows in junk food. Well, even in our lack of enthusiasm today, we can all rest in the sovereignty of our God. He reigns supreme. No election is needed there. I guess this is what those democrats were feeling after 2004. I could have lived the rest of my life not knowing how it feels and been just fine.

The election is finally over...

and I find myself wishing it wasn't! Can I just live in November 3rd forever LOL? Even though I don't like America's choice for the next President of the United States, I can appreciate the democratic process. He was voted in by the majority of people who voted. 53% voted for Obama. I am not going to go into political conversation with myself and the few other people who read this blog. One thing I know is that I am very happy to be able to witness this historic event. It is symbolic. To say it is historic is understating its significance. But one prevailing thought has entered my mind. I want to teach my children to judge someone based on who they are, not what they are. It seems a lot of people (both African American and white) voted for Obama not for his platforms, but for what he represented. He represents change. People want economic change, war change, and racial change. I can understand. I don't fault anyone for wanting change. But to want change isn't enough of a reason to vote for a person without even knowing what he stood for (platform speaking). So I want my children to be different.

My dear children, when you are 18 and voting, vote prayerfully. That is all I ask. I want you to be different than the rest of the world. I want you to want godly change. I want you to want the kind of change that the Lord rejoices over. Want souls to change from death to life. Want marriages to change in a way that makes them last for the life of those who are married. Want children to have the right to live. Just want the things in the Bible. You can't go wrong with that kind of change. Love, your dear mom who loves you very much!

It is finally here

Election Day, that is. Finally. I am so tired of hearing about this darn election. One thing has really stood out to me over the last few months. People all over this country are putting all of their hope in the next president to save us from all of the quandaries we are in now. People are losing money hand over fist in the market; lives are being lost in Iraq. Gas prices, though they have finally come down to around $2/gallon, have been sky high for months now. But God has given me peace. No matter who wins tomorrow, HE is still Lord. He causes kings to rise and fall. He draws battle lines. He is God over this earth. We can elect whom ever we want, but the real President of this United States isn't subject to our election. So if America gets it wrong tomorrow *snicker snicker* and Obama wins, so be it. My God is always the winner.

Psalm 20:7 "Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God."

Psalm 46: 9-10 "He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth; he breaks the bow and shatters the spear, he burns the shields with fire. Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."

What kind of God do I serve?

I have recently been challenged in the way I view God. It was a subtle and kind teaching from the Lord. I usually expect that the way he will teach me is through trials or discipline. See, I assume the worst of my God. What a bad follower am I!? So, Courtney called this week. She is pregnant (again!) and desperately wanted a girl. In the weeks leading up to the big ultrasound I was a bit worried about whether her emotions could take finding out she was carrying yet another boy. How would she handle this disappointment? I obviously assumed it would be a boy. Why? Because she wanted a girl; so of course that meant that she would have a boy. After all, we don't get what we want...ever. Wednesday was the big day. She called to tell me that she was indeed having a beautiful baby GIRL!!! What?! This is not what I was expecting at all. I fully expected God to give her another boy. I realized through this that I don't think God wants me to have what I want. I view him as a kill-joy, a stingy father, and one who doesn't like to see his children happy. Maybe I feel like this because my life has dealt me quite a few lemons. Maybe I feel like this because I am a big fat pessimist. Maybe I feel like this because if I admit that he does want me to have the things I want, it means I have to change the way I pray. I would have to begin to pray more aggressively. I will have to stop wallowing in self pity and enjoy life. Whatever. All I know is that it was eye opening.

On a little side note: YAY FOR BABY GIRL ATKINSON!!!! I am so happy for Courtney :) Right now she is Hadley Christina. Time will tell if she remains Hadley Christina. But for now, I am so glad to see that God has given Courtney her Hadley. She deserves it! She is surrounded by way too much testosterone.