Confessions

I am terrible at making sure Jordan eats healthy food. Here was today's menu: breakfast was grits and a couple apple slices; lunch was Golden Grahams and juice (we were on the go...that is my excuse and I am sticking to it!). Dinner was grapes and about a gallon of peanut butter. Just peanut butter. No crackers or bread. At least it was full of protein. It is what she wanted and considering Scott isn't here this weekend I decided not to care. Yes I know those sentences are fragments. It is for effect. Or is it affect?

I am the worlds most selfish mom. I am insanely jealous of Scott right now. He is in San Antonio playing football and eating awesome food while I am stuck at home having zero fun and eating veggie soup. I never get to have fun and it feels like he always does. I feel terribly taken for granted. It is as if no one thinks about the fact that moms want to have fun too. We get a once a year retreat that isn't usually restful. I get a once a year weekend with my college friends. It is awesome but only once a year. He gets basketball every Monday and football weekends once a month. It isn't fair. Our adoption agency has told us that we may be getting a baby by Christmas. While I am very excited and sooo looking forward to a better baby experience than I had with Jordan (thank you panic attacks) I am feeling a little put out because now I won't be able to take the 2 day vacation Scott and I were trying to plan over Christmas.

It is just a bad day all around. At one point the shelves on buffet in the dining room fell apart. I could not get them back together. They just kept falling apart. I took a minute to scream which scared Jordan to death. She cried and clung to me with all her might. That made me feel like #1 mom for sure! Sense the sarcasm? It feels like the only person in my life who cares about this is my mom. I love my mom but I really want to feel like Scott cares and understands. I think he does but how can I know for sure when he is in freaking Texas? If you are reading this and judging me, remind me to set my blog to private *wink wink*.