I have recently been challenged in the way I view God. It was a subtle and kind teaching from the Lord. I usually expect that the way he will teach me is through trials or discipline. See, I assume the worst of my God. What a bad follower am I!? So, Courtney called this week. She is pregnant (again!) and desperately wanted a girl. In the weeks leading up to the big ultrasound I was a bit worried about whether her emotions could take finding out she was carrying yet another boy. How would she handle this disappointment? I obviously assumed it would be a boy. Why? Because she wanted a girl; so of course that meant that she would have a boy. After all, we don't get what we want...ever. Wednesday was the big day. She called to tell me that she was indeed having a beautiful baby GIRL!!! What?! This is not what I was expecting at all. I fully expected God to give her another boy. I realized through this that I don't think God wants me to have what I want. I view him as a kill-joy, a stingy father, and one who doesn't like to see his children happy. Maybe I feel like this because my life has dealt me quite a few lemons. Maybe I feel like this because I am a big fat pessimist. Maybe I feel like this because if I admit that he does want me to have the things I want, it means I have to change the way I pray. I would have to begin to pray more aggressively. I will have to stop wallowing in self pity and enjoy life. Whatever. All I know is that it was eye opening.
On a little side note: YAY FOR BABY GIRL ATKINSON!!!! I am so happy for Courtney :) Right now she is Hadley Christina. Time will tell if she remains Hadley Christina. But for now, I am so glad to see that God has given Courtney her Hadley. She deserves it! She is surrounded by way too much testosterone.
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