Submission

Submission. Submission is the hardest thing in the world for me to do as a wife. I would venture to say that it is the hardest thing for most wives to do. Right now lovely dear husband is fighting for a house that I feel certain we can't afford. I do know that we need more space. We are all on top of eachother. The babies have two, yes two, rooms they can play in. The kitchen is off limits for obvious reasons. I don't like them going down the hallway because two of the doors to bedrooms don't close and who knows what kind of stuff is in those rooms to be ruined and/or eaten. So we are currently waiting to hear if a seller has accepted our offer. I have to admit, as much as I love the house I fought Scott on this. I felt like we couldn't afford it, I don't want to rent our current house out, there won't be money to decorate the new house, yada yada yada. Any excuse was good enough for me. Even when talking with Scott about moving into the house, I said before moving in I wanted to paint the bedrooms and get a vanity for the hall bath. Scott was fine with painting because that is hard to do once you are moved in. But the vanity, he said, had to wait. But why? then he said something that was so true. He said "Why are you willing to go along with me on something as huge as the house but you will fight me on a $200 vanity." That kind of got me. It was true. I was submitting to his leadership and trusting that he heard from God regarding this house. But I want to make it as hard on him as possible. And the weird thing is that I love the house. It is perfect for our family for now and I really believe we can get a good 10 years out of it at least. It is 2100 square feet; I never thought I'd have a house that big. It has a fully updated kitchen with TWO pantries (perfect for couponing/stocking up), three fairly large bedrooms, two bathrooms (which is huge for me because we only have one now), a nice flat and decently long driveway so the kids can ride bikes, a two car carport, and last but not least, it is a family friendly neighborhood where I can see myself meeting moms and having a ministry. My friend Kelley and her family (who have also adopted transracially) are right around the corner. They are literally about 50 yards away. Then there are other things in the house that I love but never thought about having. I love that it has a family room to use as a playroom. I love that it has an attic fan. I feel like by even typing this I am setting myself up for heartbreak and we won't get house. Ironic. I am going to submit only on my terms but then be disappointed if it doesn't work. Something about that isn't right.