God's Ways

The book of Jeremiah is full of so much wisdom about our Lord.  But Jeremiah 29:11 is hitting hard right now.
¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Or how about this similar gem from Isaiah 55?
⁸ “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the LORD.
⁹ “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts."

Tonight I found out some startling news.  Back when Scott and I were going through infertility treatments, one thing that was tested was the sperm count.  Well, we have come to find out his is considered to be very very low.  We were never, not once, told this by our specialist.  We went on about our treatments and stopped doing anything after several failed attempts at IUIs.  I wonder now, if we had known how low his count really was/is, how would that have changed our decisions?  Would we have gone on to do IVF and have biological children?   I bet we would have.  At the time we chose not to do so because we thought our infertility issues were unknown and therefore IVF may not solve any problems.  We chose to throw that money into an adoption, which to us was a sure bet, versus IVF which in our eyes was a gamble.  Looking back....knowing what we know now...It makes me want to scoop up my babies and 5 year old and hug them, tell them how much I love them and how grateful I am that God withheld that information from us.  I know why he kept us in the dark, because he wanted our family to consist of the babies he had chosen for us from before the foundation of the world.  I am so grateful, and humbled, by our God.  Thank you Jesus, for having grander plans than I had for myself.  Thank you Father, for putting up with my selfishness during those times and steadily planning to bless us with the wondeful children we have in our lives.   They are awesome, and we are better for having them.

At the same time that I rejoice in God and his goodness, I mourn with friends.  Dear friends lost their 4 year old daughter a little over a year ago.  We have watched them grieve over the last year, then watched them get pregnant, only to lose this baby at 24 weeks.  I question why God would place such a burden on one family's shoulders.  It seems almost too much to bear.  I don't understand how the deaths of two precious and God created children gives this family hope and a future.  I do know them well enough to know that they are clinging, even if it be by a very thin string, to the hope that God promises does NOT disappoint (Romans 5).  I don't understand God's ways, thoughts, decisions.  I do know that I serve a God that is both good and loving.  I also know that I live in a world that is both fallen and seeping with sin.  Sin is what causes ugly and painful deaths; sin is why Hannah and Timothy are buried next to eachother.  Sin is why death, even when someone is at an old age, is painful to watch.  But sin and Satan were defeated on the cross.  So my friends will see their children again in Heaven.  In the meantime, we grieve with them.  Will you please pray for them?  I know they need it.