How to wait

This Shaohannah's Hope devotional (or adoption companion as they call it) is really doing my heart some good. God is using it to help me know how to rightly react to the ups and downs of the adoption process. The swings from high to low can be too much for me to handle at times. To say that it feels like a piece of my heart is with Micah would be an accurate way of summing it up. At the same time I want to enjoy every last second of this time; once Micah arrives it will never be just me and Jordan again. It is easy during this time of waiting to be child focused instead of God focused. I have to admit that there have been days when I prayed more for this baby than I prayed for his glory. Over the last couple of weeks I noticed that my prayers did seem to be more God centered than they had been in the past. Then I read in this devotional a little blurb about the waiting. "...if you are longing more for the child instead of the Savior, you may want to pause and take inventory of your realationship with God." Infertility has a way of doing that to a person. Every Christian I know who has struggled through infertility and/or multiple miscarriages would say that at one point or another they became child centered. When you want something so bad that it hurts it is hard to remember God. I would say that this described the types of prayers I prayed even a couple weeks ago. I constantly prayed for the baby and birthmom but never prayed for God to be glorified. After the failed adoption a couple weeks ago my prayers changed. I had no choice but to seek him in a different way because they way I had been praying was not comforting. Since then I have been praying that God would be glorified even through the birthmom's relinquishing of rights. Anyhow, God is teaching me that waiting is not active. Waiting is a resting in prayer until the desired action takes place. I am to invest in the wait and not stir in idleness. I am not invest in prayer and the relationship I have with my family. I am not waiting on some mom to deem us worthy; I am waiting on God's time.