Well, here we go again!

We have yet another possible adoption on the horizon. This is different though. This adoption will be totally private...no agency involved, only Christian doctors who want to do the right thing. When Jordan was in the NICU the doctor who discharged her asked us to contact him when we were ready to adopt again. He is a very encouraging Christian man and loved seeing our family adopt an African American baby. So we talked with him some last spring. We exchanged contact info but honestly I never expected to hear from him. He only sees this kind of thing once a year if that. When we met with him we were given a list of OBGYNs in the area to contact. These are docs that he networks with, all who have a heart to see babies placed in good homes. This isn't a money making thing for them. In fact, no one wants any money at all! So anyhow, I called all these docs but wasn't able to meet with any of them. Our NICU doc said he would just make sure to mention us to all of them and hope they remembered us later. That was nearly a year ago. Well guess what? One of them did! He has a patient who wants to place her baby for adoption. She asked him to take care of things for her. I suppose she just couldn't emotionally deal with it and wanted someone else to do it (get a family and make arrangements with the hospital). I assume she feels pretty weighed down and simply couldn't make decisions for herself. She needed someone to do it for her. As far as I am concerned, she has already made some invaluable decisions. She decided 8 months ago that his child would live. Now she is deciding that she wants more for this child than she can provide. Those are two huge decisions. I hope she doesn't sell herself short. I don't even know her but I know that if it all goes through I will think she is one of the bravest people on the face of the earth. But back to the story...her OB remembered his conversation with our NICU doc and BAM! Now we wait. We do have a bit of a wait ahead of us, anywhere from 2-4 weeks I think. That is a long long looooong time for this anxiety sufferer. But I'll get through like I always do.

We aren't telling our agency any of this! I wouldn't want them to take us off their waiting list just in case this other one doesn't go through. But 4 weeks is an eternity in adoption terms. What if the agency calls with a baby? Geez, my world could be overrun with babies if I play my cards right LOL! Kidding. I wouldn't do that. But really, at this point we know God has a baby for us. We just don't know where. We also know that this baby will be in our home soon. Experience and just knowing how adoptions work tells us this. Time will tell. But honestly, it is all very ironic to me. God never ceases to amaze me.

So is your list of things to pray:
1. I am still praying for signed papers by the end of this month. I am especially praying this now that I feel there is a wait ahead of us. The waiting is physically hard on me. I can't even begin to describe that.
2. Pray for this birthmom...for peace and the comfort that only God can bring.
3. Peace in my heart. I know in my mind that God is in control and sovereign and when it is our baby and our time, things work out. But my body just goes a little nuts. I don't have much control over it. Hence, the anxiety. While I do feel pretty good about this adoption and don't feel at all like this isn't our baby or we shouldn't proceed, I am still very nervous. I can't begin to explain how my body physically takes on stress.