6 weeks and counting

We have been waiting roughly 6 weeks for Baby Kennedy to arrive. We were hoping for a Christmas baby but that has come and gone. Part of me is a little sad, but the other part is glad we got to have one last Christmas with just Jordan. So I am still waiting for that phone call. Each time the phone rings I look at the caller ID hoping it is a 912 number. I remember the first call we ever got. Of course it wasn't the call for Jordan. It was the call before her...I had gone out to eat with a friend and didn't hear the phone ring! So we are sitting in the parking lot at my work and I checked my phone for the time. There was a message. I thought I had better listen to it before clocking back in; low and behold it was from the agency. It was so exciting and of course I was totally taken off guard. Those calls always come when you least expect them. Then the second call, well, that was even more amazing. The baby from the first call had been born and placed with a different family. We were so devestated. Words just can't describe how we felt when we heard that the birthmom had decided to go a different route. In the end she felt more comfortable having her baby raised by African American parents. Heartbreak. We mourned for a few days, pulled ourselves up by our bootstraps, and kept on going. We had waited 4 weeks to bring that baby home! 4 weeks. We were so ready. If I am honest though, there is something in me that knew it was going to fall through. That was Monday, July 24 2006. Thursday, July 27, 2006 at about 4:00 I got a call at my office. It was the agency.

"Are you sitting down?" she said.

"We have a situation..." ("Situation" is adoption lingo for "there is a baby if you want it.")

"She was born at University Hospital...she is a little early...the birthmom chose you. She looked at your book and she chose you" (meaning she didn't care that we were white). "She was born on Monday. Birthmom has already named her but understands if you want to change it. She named her Jordan."

Jordan was the name we had chosen for a boy. Every single time we told someone we had chosen Jordan for a boy they would tell us we could use it for a girl. Scott also really wanted to use it for a girl. We chose it for it's meaning in our lives...meaning is what won Scott over. He wanted that name for a boy or a girl. I wasn't convinced until I was told that she was already named Jordan. I knew then that she was Jordan. God could not have been more clear that this was our little girl. She was chosen just for us. She was loved so so much by her birthmom, by us, and by our God who facilitated every tiny detail right down to her name and birthday. She was painstakingly knit together in her mother's womb and was placed in my arms. After all the crap infertility put us through, in that moment I was healed.

Now this little unintended trip down memory land has me a little weapy. I have to go distract myself with some mindless television.

Lord, you have been so good to me. Oh how I forget that! Keep Baby safe. Wherever she is, keep her safe. Until she is in my arms, wrap yours around her. Even tonight at this late hour, woo her by your grace. Call her by name. May she grow up to do justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with you. For your glory. For the sake of the call. Amen.