Are you smarter than a 3 year old?

Because apparently I am not! Before I get started let me say that this post will contain zero pictures. Sorry. I have taken around 200 in the last few days and have had no time to even take them off the camera. Hopefully this weekend. I will also warn you that this is a poop story. If you aren't a mom you may not find the humor. If you are a mom but have a weak stomach, just stop reading! So back to the story...Jordan decided to potty train (yay yay yay)! I have been telling her for a couple months that when she turned three she wasn't wearing diapers anymore. She did great for a day then it was a battle of the wills. Considering my number one priority for her life is that she learn to love God and obey him, potty training ranks quite low in comparison. So I just stopped and figured I would try again in a couple months. This has been my tactic for the last year. I have tried every couple months for a year! Anyhow, a couple days later she told me she had to pee and proceeded to take off her diaper and pee on the potty! She hasn't stopped since. She has had very few accidents. I am thinking I might brave our first outing in panties soon. yikes! Okay, so the other day I heard her straining. I knew what the straining meant! I rushed to the living room and gently encouraged her to sit on the potty. She refused. So I let her do her thing and threw out that pair of undies! I am cheap, but not that cheap :haha: Avoiding handling the poop is worth the sacrifice of the one pair of pink panties :) I gave her a stern lecture about not pooping in panties blah blah blah and told her that she may get a spanking the next time she did it. I don't know if this is the right route to go, but I do know that she is fully aware of when she has to go #2. There is no reason other than fear that she can't make it to the potty in time. Five minutes after the lecture she asks if she can take a bath. Some of you may know where this is going. I, however, am obviously of the intelligence of a 2 year old and had no idea what she was scheming. A few minutes into her bath I hear "Mama! Want to see the poop?" Nooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!! I run in there to see one large tennis ball sized poop and a bunch of smaller floaters. Then my brilliant daughter says "Mama! I want to touch the poop." Before I could tell her no she handed me said tennis ball sized poop, because, well...you know how gross it is to bathe in your own feces. *Insert rolling of eyes and gagging here.* Girlfriend knew exactly what she was doing! She knew she shouldn't poop in her panties, but also knew that she didn't want to do it on the potty either. She is a smart one, that 3 year old. I, however, am obviously not so smart LOL!

This next poop story is a little more funny and less graphic. Jordan has peeing on the potty down to a science! She gets it. Poop...not so much. How many more times can I say "poop" in this post? I could change it to dump (which is J's new favorite word. She heard me tell my mom that she took a dump in the bathtub and hasn't stopped saying it since. Good news is that she has NO idea what I meant, so she uses the word totally out of context. Phew! And yes, I am so unfeminine that I say "dump". If you lived with my husband you would understand.) Okay, so Scott came home from work for lunch. Lucky for him right after he got home the babies got up to eat. Then, due to it being close to nap time Jordan was getting a little ornery and had to be sent to time out. Because I was feeding babies I couldn't really enforce the discipline so Scott had to step in. After she came out of time out she had pooped her panties. Lovely. Guess who had to clean it up? Not me! So after handling discipline problems and cleaning up poop out of panties Scott declared that he is never coming home for lunch again! LOL! Welcome to my life, babe! I guess he was hoping to take a short snooze? Oh, and do you want to know what my prince charming did with said poop? I thought so! He bagged it up. Yes, he put the panties in the dirty clothes and bagged up the poop in a grocery bag. Why? I am still not sure. I asked him why he didn't flush it and he had no answer. Then I asked if after bagging up the poop did he wish he was 16 again and could pull some really nasty prank (enter Glenn Wilkins here). To that he laughed and to my amazement he said the thought didn't cross his mind. What thought did cross his mind is what to do with the bagged up poo. He threw it out in the carport. Wha???? Not only did he not flush it but he didn't even take it to the trash! And this, my friends, are two examples of why men do not stay home with kids! Hope you have had a better week :)