On Raising My Babies

I have a few thoughts kind of swimming around in my head right now. I want to get them out because sometimes that helps me understand my own brain a little. On the way to my parent's house tonight I looked in the backseat to see my first "born". She told me she loved me two times in a row! Tonight I held JW as he fussed and fussed and was only consoled when in my arms with a paci and watching tv. (Don't worry...I don't usually let the babies watch tv. HOWEVER, with a 3 year old and 2 THREE MONTH OLDS sometimes you do what you gotta do.) Earlier in the afternoon Micah was fussing due to being tired. I took her from my mom, stuck a paci in her mouth and within 30 seconds she was peacefully sleeping in the crook of my elbow. I stared at her as I realize anew that she is MINE and I am her's. Anyway, I prayed tonight, as I held my precious dark skinned baby boy, that God would continue to bless our family. (I mentioned him being dark because I am so dang white that the contrast is more than noticable.) It is funny because I hold him or any of my other babies and I see a skin color that I would love to have. Unlike me, you can't see the veins running through their skin. It is smooth in color. Jordan has the most beautiful caramel color ever. I say I see a skin color that I would love to have, but in the end, I don't notice their color, or my lack thereof. I notice my babies. I notice the babies that my heart has expanded to love each the same. I see miracles. I see God because he showed himself so clearly through their adoption stories. People often tell us that they admire what we have done or that we are wonderful people for adopting "these babies". I never take offense to it because I know what people mean, at least I think I do. I think many understand the financial burden that we have taken on so they know the sacrifice we make to adopt. But the truth is that these babies so make up for the material things we can't afford. AND, I have seen God in ways that most never will. Through our adoptions I have seen God in a way that is tangible to me, similar to Moses as God's glory passed before him. Not everyone gets to see God in a way that makes one stop and gaze into his eyes, knowing this opportunity is fleeting and may never happen again. Sure, we experience a personal relationship with him daily. But there is something to say about living in the midst of a miracle. Like the woman who touched Jesus' robe in order to heal her bleeding, when I have gone through an adoption I have touched the face of God and there is yet another part of my scarred heart that is healed.

Being an interracial family is so much more awesome than I can ever put into words. God has used it to help me understand love more. God doesn't see color; He just sees those whom he shed his blood for. It is the same with us. We don't see them as "adopted kids"; we see them as the three kids that we have chosen to sacrifice money and the lifestyle that goes along with it, time, and emotional energy for. I know if I had to do so, I too would shed my blood for my babies. They are just that...they are my babies. But what is more fascinating for me to think about is that we are their parents. God chose some pretty darn white people to raise these precious and fabulous African American babies. I hope they grow up knowing how blessed I feel I am for having been entrusted with them.

enough rambling...for now. I am good at rambling :)

Jordan did my hair. Don't I look beautiful?


Jordan had her first outing this week without a diaper. She made it back home dry! Yay! So she got a rainbow cupcake for her prize. She has since had several more outings without accidents. I think I can finally sign her up for dance!


These technicolor cupcakes were supposed to be for J's birthday party. But I had to cancel it. I just couldn't pull it together. So I spent time with J making them. She loves to cook and this gave us some much needed one-on-one time.


Can you tell she loved them? The best part is that she doesn't even need frosting. All the color makes her think they have more flavor than they do. 3 year olds are so easily tricked!

And I can't forget the babies. I am looking forward to cooler weather so I can get outside and take some better pictures of them.